Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year, New Apartment, New Bike

So I moved yesterday. And thanks to the help of my wonderful friends, it was quick and easy. And quickly and easily followed by beer and pizza. I still have yet to unpack, but I'll get to it eventually, however it will be neither quick nor easy.

In other news, CHRIS GOT ME A NEW BIKE FOR CHRISTMAS! It's a fixed gear (exactly what I've been wanting for ages) and perfect! He surprised me with it right after I moved into the new place. He brought it out from behind the Uhaul while all of my friends were standing around. Frank (who "built" the bike) has coverage and pictures on his blog.

Chris with my bike! Picture stolen from Pig's Flickr.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Blogging With Dialup Sucks...

...So I probably won't do it for a while.

I'm in Nixa, Missouri. A small town south of Springfield, where my dad owns an old farmhouse. Needless to say, there's no WiFi out here. If I want that, I have to go into town, near the University.

I'm here for a few days then back up to Kansas City where I grew up. Having a little five-year high school reunion. I'm in charge of my class reunions, so I just emailed everyone and said "let's meet at this bar on Tuesday night for a five-year reunion." I guess I'll do something more exciting for ten years, but five doesn't really warrant a caterer.

Soon, I'll return to New York. I'll have one day to pack my entire apartment then I'm moving to a cute lil' place in Boerum Hill. I know what many of you are thinking, and the answer is no. So there.

On the first, "my band" (why do I put that in quotes? we really are a band and I really am a member) is playing at the Hank-O-Rama at the Rodeo Bar. I'll be singing a little diddy by Hank, myself. I guess I'll post some details once I have WiFi again, so check back in a week or so.

I hope you all have a happy/merry Christmahanukwanzaa.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


It's like I work from home again. My boss calling me on my cell phone. My laptop on my lap, in bed. I'm lucky though; my employers told me not to even try to go in if there's a strike. So for me, this is fun. But I enjoy chaos. The blackout was fantastic. I do feel bad for those whose employers aren't so forgiving, however.

I think I'll see a movie today. Gay cowboys anyone?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Your Daily Dose of Holiday Cheer: Sexy Santa

sexy santa2
Yesterday it was the ham. Today it's Sexy Santa. There's no telling what tomorrow will bring. Photo courtesy BrianVan.

DISCLAIMER: I washed/dryed that wool sweater accidentlly. Chris was stretching it out for me. He doesn't actually own a sweater like that.

Drink, Drink and Be Merry TONIGHT

As if you needed another reason to drink and be jolly this month...I'm going to give you one: The Second Annual Drinking Liberally (the same people who brought you Mayoroke) Holiday Party, TONIGHT December 15th, 7:30 onward at the famous Rudy's (9th btw 44th & 45th).

Your first drink is FREE from 7:30 to 8:30 so get there early. And of course, there are always free hotdogs. Keep in mind that this picture (courtesy Alpie) was taken last year before things got rowdy.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Your Daily Dose of Holiday Cheer: Ham

I generally skimp on the food for my parties. In part because nice food is expensive for a cheap house party, and in part because the parties are late and people usually eat dinner before hand. Chips, hummus and M&M's are sufficient provisions at 11 or 12. But this year, for the Third Annual Holiday Hoopla, Chris brought a 5-pound ham. We thought we'd have some leftover for sandwiches the next day, but all we had was a hambone.

I miss that ham. It was a good ham, a happy ham, a tasty ham. Ham, may you rest in peace...IN MY BELLY!

Photo courtesy BrianVan.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Cold Showers

Cold showers do not rock my world. Therefore, I do not take them. Especially in the winter. Therefore when there is no hot water...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Not really, though. It's the coldest day of the season so far and I have no heat. And my landlord called me today asking for the rent. Ha!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Would You Pay?

I'm moving at the end of the month, and I have yet to pay my November rent. My deposit will cover my December rent, and I'm debating whether or not to make up November.

The reason I haven't paid my November rent is because I don't even have an address for my landlord. He comes into our apartment to get the rent. He's come in twice while I've been in the shower, and I generally write him a check when he knocks on the door. This is after we asked him to give us 24 hours notice before entering our apartment. I won't leave a check lying around for him because three apartments in the building have been robbed since I moved in two years ago. You see, the front door to the building doesn't lock, another thing I've asked him to fix numerous times. In addition, I only have about one hot shower a week, the heat is not sufficient at times and our bathroom light has been broken for over a month...the light bulb that's hanging from the ceiling with exposed wires, that is.

I could make a laundry list of all of the repairs I've had to make on my own, or all the times I've fallen down the decaying stairs. Maybe I should. Maybe I should do it in a letter to him instead of paying the last month's rent that I owe him.

When I called to give him my 30-day's notice he yelled at me for fifteen minutes. He said I had an obligation to move out the same month I moved in. However, I asked him for a lease multiple times and never received one.

What would you do? Would you pay the rent?

Monday, December 05, 2005

Just Another Manic Monday

First, a weekend recap:
Frank and Laura got engaged on Saturday! Congratulations!

Chris and I went ice skating in Bryant Park on Saturday night, and surprisingly I did not fall on my ass.

When I gave my landlord notice that I was moving out, he yelled at me for fifteen minutes. "I'm a human first and a landlord second!" he screamed. No shit. If he were a landlord first, my bathroom light would work, and I would have heat and hot water.

It snowed in New York!

I sang my first solo with my band on Thursday night. The performace was pretty good, but next time I decide to drink vodka to take the edge off, I'll remember to eat dinner first.
Today's News:
The MTA's new rules go into effect today, meaning I'm one step closer to getting that ticket I so strongly desire. I tried today, I really did. But there was no cop around to watch me drink my coffee.

I woke up at 4:45 a.m. with "intense feelings of anxiety" and couldn't go back to sleep. (Yes, I'm quoting myself.) I haven't quite figured out what I'm anxious about.

I had a hot shower this morning. Thanks to my boyfriend, not my landlord.
How was your weekend?

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Hark How the Bells...

Sweet silver bells/ all seem to say/ throw cares away/ Christmas is here/ bringing good cheer/ to young and old/ meek and the bold/ ding dong, ding dong/ that is their song/ with joyful ring/ all caroling/ one seems to hear/ words of good cheer/ from everywhere/ filling the air/ oh how they pound/ raising their sound/ o'er hill and dale/ telling their tale/ gaily they ring/ while people sing/ songs of good cheer/ Christmas is here.... I won't go on, but I bet I'm one of the only dorks who knows all the words to that one.

I've already begun to annoy my co-workers by singning carols in the office. Can't wait to decorate the ficus tree! Do you think if I go caroling in Brooklyn I'll get shot?

Monday, November 28, 2005

Searching for Revenue

As much as I heart Google, I may have to start using another search engine. GoodSearch lets you choose a charity or nonprofit organization that will receive advertising revenue every time you search. You simply visit GoodSearch's homepage, type in your charity or nonprofit's name, and start to search.

Might I suggest New Yorkers for Parks as your nonprofit of choice?

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Going to the Chapel of Love?

I just got offered $9,000 to marry a gay Colombian. No co-habitation, but the money would be paid in installments. I think I'd rather sell an egg and get it all in one shot.

Asking for Trouble

I cannot wait to get ticketed for drinking my coffee on the subway. Every morning, as I sip from my open container of hot liquid goodness, I long for an encounter with an over-eager police officer, waiting to ticket someone for something, anything. Am I drinking to no avail? According to the MTA's rules, sipping from an open container is not prohibited. Did I miss something? Was this prohibition revoked when I was busy holding a paper cup instead of a newspaper?

Monday, November 21, 2005

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

The holidays are officially here. I don't know this because lights are hung, or Christmas music is playing on the radio. I know this because I had a nightmare that I couldn't button my jeans. I'm not even the kind of girl who worries about my weight (if I did, I'd be worrying a lot), but this time of year, all I do is eat. On Saturday, I attended my first of three Thanksgiving dinners (thanks Miss Kris!). And with divorced parents, a half sister, a stepmother, and a brother-in-law, I'll probably have about seven Christmas dinners. It's a good thing I'm opting to move myself instead of hiring movers (I'm moving January 1) so I can work some of that food off, and hopefully not have to live my nightmare of not being able to button my jeans. I don't want to be the fat lady in sweatpants.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Last night the apartment across the hall was burglarized for the second time (that I know of, since I've lived there). This is the third time an apartment in my building has been burglarized (that I know of, since I've lived there).

The front door to my building never locks and hardly ever closes. The burglar (or burglars -- I'm guessing it's one person who keeps coming back for more laptops) goes in through the front door, heads up to the roof, down the back fire escape and in through the windows (that, of course, do not lock).

One would think that my landlord would have tried to fix the door after the first time. But I have a slumlord who does absolutely nothing to fix up, or even fix, the building.

Good thing I'm moving out January 1. Too bad it's not sooner. Should I report him once I get my deposit back? He's the kind of guy that would make my life a living hell if I actually reported him while I still lived there, even after the obligatory written requests for repairs. Has anyone had any experiences with this kind of landlord?

Yeah, so I'm moving out January 1. Anyone looking for a super-cute (albeit somewhat vulnerable to burglaries) 2-bedroom apartment in the South Slope?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

A Casserole in The Sun

For those of you who missed The First Annual Casserole Party a few weeks back, check out the coverage in the Food & Drink section of yesterday's New York Sun. How many of you have had my "prize winning" macaroni and corn casserole? What do you think?
Me with the casseroles. That's my mac 'n corn casserole in the round Pyrex under me.

The 2005 Casserole King and Queen, Doug Smiley and Amy Butterworth.

Photos courtesy Heidi Vogt.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Cat and Mouse Game

Is that not the cutest cat and mouse you've ever seen?

More photos of cat and mouse on my flickr.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Ding Dong

Meirs has withdrawn! Except who will be the next nominee? Could he or (hopefully) she be even scarier?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Goin' to the Butcher's

Unless someone talks me out of it (maybe that's why I'm posting this), I'm going to attempt to cut my own hair tonight. No, not just my bangs, I'm putting some texture in my hair. It's getting long and I'm starting to look like a mom with a shoulder-length bob, and I just can't handle that. Especially after seeing a 50-year-old woman with the same haircut on the train this morning. No worries, I won't use real scissors, just thinning shears. I can't mess it up too bad with just thinning shears, can I?

Monday, October 24, 2005

It Was Only a Matter of Time

...before I'd get a FEMA scan spam:
Dear Applicant,

My name is Paul W Cameron. I am a Contract Inspector for FEMA. If this is the first time I’ve contacted you please call me immediately at 507-269-7142 to set up your homes FEMA inspection.

Attached to this email you’ll find a "Declaration and Release" form (#90-69B). Please review and add the required information to the following areas:

* Check the appropriate box regarding citizen ship
* Print your name (Last name first, must be applicant)
* Sign
* Add Date of Birth
* Add Date Signed

You may leave the FEMA application number blank and I will add it specific to your documentation.

* Add the address of damaged home
* Add the city
* Add the state
* Add the Zip Code

The signed document can be faxed to my attention (attn: PWC) to 413-235-9987.

On an additional piece of paper (or by responding to this email) please also list:

* Home Owners/Flood Ins. Company
* Home Owners/Flood Ins. Policy Number
* Insurance Agent
* Agents Phone Number

For Renters:

* Landlord Name
* Landlord Phone Number

If you were forced to relocate, please add the following:

* Name of Town
* Name of State

The sooner I can gather this data, the faster I can get your claim turned around. Hang in there and God Bless you.

Thank you
Paul W Cameron
PWC Inspection Service
Rochester, MN
His site is a "real" inspection website, though it looks like it was designed with ClipArt from Microsoft. How do we find out if this guy is legit (well, confirm he's not) and to whom do we report him?

Friday, October 21, 2005

Bomb Scare

I was just about to take my lunch break when we were told there's a bomb scare out on the street (I work near Grand Central) and we're not allowed to leave the building. The one day I skipped breakfast... So, now I'm living on peanuts and mini Snickers.

So I'm Not Voting for Mayor

This time last year, all I wanted was for everyone to vote. Everything I did revolved around electoral politics, because of course, like many of my peers, I just wanted W out of the White House. I preached that the only way this country can have a true representative of the people is if everyone votes. I overheard some neighbors on their fire escape talking about how they weren't registered to vote; I stuck my head out the window and said I'd be right up with a New York State voter registration card. I traveled to Pennsylvania, Georgia, Missouri and Ohio to register voters. In fact, I even created an alter ego, VoteGirl, to encourage young people to vote.

One year later, as another election day draws near, I can't bring myself to vote for either mayoral candidate for New York City. I don't hate Bloomberg, but I hate enough of the things he's done (mainly his ridiculous overdevelopment of the city) to not feel comfortable voting for him. And Freddy, well... let's just say I don't hate Bloomberg enough to even consider voting for Freddy. And I don't like Freddy enough to vote for him on his own merits. He's had one screw up after another and he hasn't said or done anything to make me believe this city will be any better under his administration than it is under a Bloomberg administration.

But don't give up on VoteGirl just yet. I'm still going to vote; I'm just going to abstain from voting for mayor. I don't quite know what or who I'm voting for, but between now and November 8, I'll check out this handy dandy voter guide, and you should, too.

And of course, I'll be at this rockin' election night party. One thing VoteGirl can't abstain from is an open bar.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Mayor Mike Does it Again

While on the New York Times website this morning, I came across an ad for Bloomberg that said, "Streets are cleaner and the city is greener. How'd it happen? Mayor Mike Bloomberg." Intrigued, I clicked through to Mike's website where I found this:
Under Mayor Mike Bloomberg, New York has added 300 acres of new parkland, with new parks and playgrounds in every borough.
I clicked through to his accomplishments page and found these stats:
In Manhattan: Mayor Bloomberg has already completed the reconstruction of East River Park...During the Bloomberg Administration, the Parks Department has added 300 acres of new parkland and 25.7 greenway miles to the City's recreational space...
Mike completed reconstruction of the park? Himself? Awesome. Now, I know I haven't been in a few weeks, but the last time I checked, the East River Park was not complete... has anyone tried to bike it lately? Or gain waterfront access below 14th Street? Does he mean just the "parky parts" are done and the cyclists and joggers will have to continue to endanger themselves on First Avenue while parts of the greenway are locked up? Gotham Gazette recently noted that:
In the past two years, the park has gained refurbished ball fields (funded through the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation, which was created to rebuild lower Manhattan after 9/11), playgrounds and a rebuilt outdoor amphitheater (which had been the first home of Shakespeare in the Park). There are working public toilets and plans for more.

But much of the park—the largest in lower Manhattan--lives in a state of dishabille. A grassy patch turns brown. Another, greener lawn rarely gets a mowing. A broken water fountain falling into a sinkhole has had a tidy little chain link fence around it for years. Bikers and walkers now traverse a noisy path up against the FDR that is always either dusty or flooded. That's the way it will remain until the promenade reopens.
But the REAL problem with all of this-- whether it was Mayor Mike or park advocates who have claimed all that parkland for the city-- is that none of it is or will be taken care of because there is simply not enough money in the city's budget for park maintenance. Bloomberg can brag about the amount of parks and playgrounds we have, but over the past 20 years, drastic budget cuts have depleted Parks Department's professional staff by more than 65%. So we'll have more parks and fewer people to take care of them? Good work, Mike.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Consequences of Greed

You may be confused as to what this picture is really depicting. Greed. That's what it's depicting. In less abstract terms, this is what happens when a python decides to have an alligator for lunch. That's right, it explodes! Check out the full story at National Geographic.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


This just in: Katie Holmes is preggers. What? Scientologists don't believe in The Pill or condoms, either? More coverage on Gawker and People.

I'd write more but I have to go throw up now.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Only in New York

Sometimes I get sad that I never have those creepy New York experiences that everyone else seems to have. They make for good stories. But tonight, I finally had mine.

I was on my way to Brooklyn on the D train, in a window seat--which sits perpendicular to the seats that run along the inside edges of the cars. A man dressed in all black sat in front of me holding a messenger bag on his lap. After four or five stops I looked down and noticed his pubic hairs. I at first thought that he had on very low pants and that his shirt was riding up. I tried to look up and around and everywhere but at his lap, but I couldn't help looking down. And then it happened. He adjusted the messenger bag and there it was: his penis! It wasn't hard and he wasn't playing with it. It was just...there.

On the Manhattan Bridge I got out my cell phone to text message my boyfriend and tell him what had happened. I considered taking a picture of the man (no, not his penis) to turn into the police like this woman did in August. But then I reconsidered. He wasn't really exposing himself; he was covering his penis with his messenger bag. I figured it was the equivalent of a man catching a glimpse of a woman's vagina when she crosses her legs (of course to really be equivalent, she'd have to be sans underwear).

As we approached my stop, I got up. So did he. But instead of zipping up his pants he just kept his bag in front of his sack.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

I Just Killed a Bear

My roommate started to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" after she got off of the phone with her

I chimed in, "I just killed a bear/put a gun against his head/pulled my trigger now he's--"

"You just killed a what?"

"A bear...right?"

"Uh. I think it's a man."
So, I googled the lyrics, and yes, Freddy Mercury killed a man, not a bear. Why did I think it was a bear? And how, in my 23 years, did I not come to the conclusion on my own that he probably killed a man?

What song lyrics have you butchered?

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Down on the Corner, Out in the Street

True, there are benefits to staying in on a Friday night. But there are even more benefits to going out and doing laundry on a Friday night. For example, I was able to witness this sad yet hysterical concert in front of my beloved deli on my way back from the laundromat.

"Do you believe in life after love?"

"I'll be here...for the good tiiiiimes."

The pictures do not do this act justice, so you can watch her sing here and him (with her help) sing here. The woman had a surprisingly good voice; she performed at the Apollo, claimed the man in the hat—who, unfortunately, was not blessed with such vocal prowess.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Mugs Up!

I admit it's not my best writing. Or even my best reporting (but what do you expect from a drunk reporter?). However, this little piece I wrote for 11211 Magazine is fun. Here's a little sample:
And so I surrendered to the beer gods. It was like Willy Wonka for the over 21 crowd.

I started with the pilsners. I had a Radaberger Royal Pilsner, a Spaten, a Stella. Then the darker lagers: a Blue Point Toasted Lager from Long Island, an Anchorsteam from San Francisco. Then came the white beers: the Weihenstephaner hefeweizen, Mugs’ best selling brew (from the 1,000-year-old brewery, remember?), then a Franzisakner. At this point my handwriting became a bit sloppy...
Read the whole thing here.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

George Bush Don't Like Black People

Or so goes the hook to the new single from Houston rap group KO, inspired by Kanye West's much-publicized heartfelt remarks at a recent Hurricane Katrina benefit and cleverly set to the track of Kanye's own "Gold Digger." Here's a little sample:
Five days in this motherfucking attic
I can’t use the cellphone I keep getting static
Dying ’cause they lying instead of telling us the truth (…)
Screwed ’cause they say they’re coming back for us, too
but that was three days ago and I don’t see no rescue(…)

Swam to the store, tryin’ to look for food
Corner store’s kinda flooded so I broke my way through
Got what I could but before I got through
News say the police shot a black man trying to loot
In addition to the powerful lyrics, it's a pretty hot song. Hear the whole thing here.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Broken Pinky Toe?

I think I just broke my pinky toe. I jammed it into the radiator when trying to run into my room (I was naked on the couch and my roommate and her friend walked in).

It's pretty painful and was sticking out the side a bit. I've got it taped to the next toe with an ice pack on it. Anything else I should do? There's no point in going to the doctor for this, right?

I'd take a picture but it hurts too much to get up and get the camera...I'll post one later when it's all nice and bruised.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Get Out The (Primary) Vote While Advocating for the Legalization of Marijuana and Gay Marriage!

There are only six days left until the New York City Democratic Primary. The Primary is just as, if not more, important than the election in November because in the Primary we'll decide what Democratic candidates to put up. For some races (i.e. Borough President, Public Advocate, etc.) the Primary will determine the election because there just aren't that many Republican candidates in a place like New York City (thank God). But that means there are some bad Democrats out there. So, get your ass to the poll (find your polling place here).

But if you really care about New York City politics (and you should because they affect you!), I suggest you try the new software by 2002 Libertarian candidate for New York Governor Scott Jeffrey. Jeffrey created at first to help promote his organization's issues (the legalization of marijuana and same-sex marriage) but LegalizeVotes quickly developed into a way for any New Yorker to start their own Get Out the Vote (GOTV) campaign without leaving their home or office. With this easy-to-use, web-based software you can look up your friends, send them a reminder to vote, endorse your favorite candidate and send them a MapQuest link for their polling site. It's super easy and fun because you can also check out your friends' voting scores. Hell, you can even check the voting scores of New York City celebrities. For example, Sarah Jessica Parker scores a 6.7. Carrie Bradshaw would be so proud! With a 1.1, Woody Allen proves once again to be a poor role-model. Al Franken rates a 6.7 and Howard Stern gets a 7.5. Howard Stern beats Al Franken?

Visit LegalizeVotes. Check out my poor voting score. But most importantly, get off your ass and vote on Tuesday, September 13!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

I'm baaaaack!

Yes, eefers escaped for another weekend in the country. And, yes, it was delightful, once again. Having no TV, phone or email, though, I missed out on the news of the terrible tragedies in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. It's quite sad that our government can't seem to take care of these people. But Kanye West said it best.

In other news, Mayoroke was a blast and eefers was Gawkered for it. Sadly, Giff didn't show. Nor did any of the mayoral candidates (except for crazy Christopher X. Brodeur and he didn't even sing because I wouldn't let him sing his original tune "Are You a Communist?"). But even without the mayoral candidates, the night was a huge success. See pictures here. If I look drunk, it's because I was. Very drunk.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Singing and Stumping Toward City Hall TONIGHT

Tonight, eefers will co-host (with MFS) what promises to be the most fun event of the 2005 election season. At MAYOROKE, candidates for Mayor and other city offices are invited to give a short stump speech, but only if they first serenade the crowd with their favorite karaoke tune. Oh yes, Gifford Miller (who, if you'll remember, I have a huge crush on) will definitely be there, along with other confirmed candidates: Norman Siegel, Scott Stringer, Carlos Manzano, Bill Perkins and Eric Cesnik, among others.

Brought to you by Drinking Liberally
Promoting Democracy One Poorly Sung Cover Tune at a Time
Thursday, September 1, 7:30 p.m.
at The Tank
208 W. 37th Street at 7th Avenue

Photo courtesy Peter Wohlsen.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Back to the Bikes

I've been bad about posting. Especially anything about cycling (both of my bikes are in disrepair at the moment), but I got this message from Megan I thought I'd pass on:
Hi Emily,

I know you're up with looking out for cyclists and their safety. My friend (and friendster) Tom was doored recently (details below), resulting in a trip to the emergency room, a broken clavicle, and being out of work for a while (he's a gaffer, so he really counts on his clavicles). The jerk who did this to him left before the cops showed up. Tom just wants to get the guy's info. for help with insurance for not working, he's not even planning to sue. If you can think of any way to help (with the details below), that would be awesome.

Original message from Tom:
$500 reward for information leading to the positive identification of the yellow cab that doored a cyclist on 9th Ave btw. 45+46 on 8/19/05 at 5:10 PM. Passenger side rear door would not close properly afterward.

I am not going to sue him. This will be a simple no-fault insurance issue. I cannot work for three months. Please help.


Tom 917-531-5326
More coverage on his girlfriend's blog.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Honkytonk Tonight, Mayoroke Thursday

In the coming week, you have two opportunities to hear/see eefers sing...or sing yourself (see Opportunity #2).

Opportunity #1: This Sunday, August 28 (That's TONIGHT, sorry for the late notice), I'll be singing backup and rockin' out on the tambourine with the American String Conspiracy at the ASC's Roots Review II at Piano's.

6PM Alex Battles/Uncle Leon
7:30PM Sweet William
9PM American String Conspiracy
Pianos Upstairs Lounge
158 Ludlow Street Manhattan

Opportunity #2: This Thursday, September 1, I'll be co-hosting (with Micheal Freedman-Schnapp, otherwise known as MFS or SCHNAPP!) Mayoroke—signing and stumping toward City Hall. City office candidates are invited to come and stump, as long as they first serenade the crowd (yes, Gifford Miller will be there). You can sing, too, if you're so inclined.

Brought to you by Drinking Liberally
Promoting Democracy one Poorly Sung Cover Tune at a Time
Doors at 7:30 p.m.
The Tank
208 W. 37th Street
This is in place of the regularly-scheduled Drinking Liberally at Rudy's.

Hope to see you at one or both of these events....And I promise eefers isn't becoming a listings page. I'm just too busy to have any original, clever or cynical thoughts lately. I'll be back soon.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Tonight? Big Ballin...

That's right. Tonight eefers will be big ballin' at the Billionaires for Bush Drunk on Power Ball at the Frying Pan on Pier 63 (23rd Street at the Hudson, just north of Chelsea Piers). I'll be the blonde girl in the blue dress with the tiara. Yes, I'll be the only blonde girl in a blue dress with a tiara. For more information, click on that girl below who bears a striking resemblance to Lindsay Lohan.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom!

Finally, someone's crazy scheme that eefers can actually get behind. My good friend MFS recently had the brilliant idea to create a car co-op for New Yorkers like me--who need a car every once in a while, but can't afford to own a car (or don't want to bother with having sole ownership of one). His plan?
...a member-run non-profit that allows multiple households to share a car or multiple cars. Ideally, this service would include private off-street parking spaces and group insurance to reduce the paperwork and hassle.
First step? Testing the market. Take his short survey and sign up for car co-op updates here.

In other car-related news, apparently Jesus drives a Hummer:

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Take Me Home, Country Roads

So I spent a long (though much longer than expected) weekend in the country, swimming in that there pond and picking the vegetables that would then become my dinner. No e-mail, no cell phone, no television--pretty much heaven. I'm having a hard time readjusting to city life: clocks, noise, the subway, wearing a bra, etc. I'm sure within a few days' time I'll be back to being the hardened, cynical eefers we all know and (hopefully) love. Until then, hold tight while I adjust in this city purgatory.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Jumping Ship

I'm abandoning eefers for a few days. Headed to the country where I will have no email, cell phone or television. I always said I wanted a vacation like this, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it, but is it normal to have a twinge of anxiety over this? I guess for someone like me--who obsessively checks my email and sent 134 SMS messages last month--it is. But honestly, that twinge of anxiety is outweighed by the fact that, yes, I will be without email, cell phone or television. Oh hell yes.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

You Can't Always Get What You Want

But if you try sometime, you just might find that NO ONE IN FREAKING NEW YORK CITY HAS A CAR I CAN BORROW! Bah! I have an opportunity to get away for the weekend, but am too broke to rent a car. Why don't I have any friends with extra cars hanging around?

Am I hoping that someone will see this post and email me and say "Hey eefers, you can use my car. Just be nice to it. I trust you."? Yes. Do I think that will really happen? No. But it's worth a try, anyway. Right?

No One Ever Has to Smell My Armpit Again

Just a few short days ago, I was sitting on the E train, unsure of where to get off; I'm not too familiar with the Blue line north of 42nd Street. I thought, "Wouldn't it be great if I could put a subway map on my iPod?" Too proud to get up and look at the map--and honestly, not wanting to give up my seat--I guessed and luckily got off at the right stop. Now, I don't have to guess anymore. Today, Little Bill (Nerve's design director) instant messaged me with a link to a site he created yesterday: Great minds do think alike.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, people must continue to smell my armpit (though I don't think it smells that bad). Silly me, I don't have an iPod Photo. But for those of you who do, enjoy!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Come Watch Me Gradually Bruise My Right Thigh at Pianos on Sunday Night

That's right, this tambourinist has finally made it big. And if you have yet to make it to a CasHank Hootenanny Jamboree, you have a chance to see me showcase my percussionist prowess at Pianos this Sunday night for FREE with the American String Conspiracy at the:

Sunday August 7
6PM Desdemona Finch/Ryan Wells/Warren Malone
7:30PM Blue State Band
9PM American String Conspiracy

Pianos Upstairs Lounge
Pianos is at 158 Ludlow at Stanton
F/V to 2nd Ave or J/M/Z/F to Delancey/Essex


Sunday, July 31, 2005

Home Run

Yesterday, some friends and I gathered in Prospect Park for a hardcore game of whiffle ball, organized by Brooks:
After a really confusing count off to figure out who was playing on what team, we divided into The Sharks and The Piranhas. I, of course, was a Piranha. But The Piranhas:
The Piranhas
quickly changed our name to The Umbros after realizing that Ruth:
covering first
of The Sharks,was wearing Umbro shorts and we felt they made her game better (The Sharks were kicking our asses at this point). Once we realized she was actually wearing Adidas shorts, we changed our name to The Sanitizers--our new secret weapon being Purell hand sanitizer. And what a good choice we made. A few squirts of sanitizer and two 40's later, I scored two runs and apparently had an RBI (though I don't quite know what that is).

The Sanitizers ended up sanitizing the Sharks, 24 to 22. But not before I helped this little guy, Ryan:
coach eefers
score a run for the other team. But anyone who knows how obsessed I am with having Black babies knows how exciting this moment was for me.

Next weekend, if we can get our asses in gear: KICKBALL!

Photos courtesy Mr. Random.

Drinking Liberally Gets a Shout Out in the Observer (The One Across the Atlantic)

Last Thursday, at Rudy's, we had a visitor from the UK. Today, the story of his visit made it into The Observer:
The motto of Justin Krebs and his friends pulls no punches: promoting democracy one pint at a time. It is a fine sentiment and, judging by the amount of beer put away in Rudy's Bar, democracy is in good shape.

Welcome to Drinking Liberally, a social club for Democrats which Krebs began in New York's Hell's Kitchen and has spread across the US. Faced with a George W Bush second term, a Republican-run Senate and Congress and a shift rightward in the balance of the Supreme Court, Democrats are reacting in the only way possible: pouring a very stiff drink. Full Story...
Find a Drinking Liberally club near you.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Occupational Hazard: Redux

I guess this is a sign that my tambourine playin just gets more rockin' every month:

Yes, last night was another enthralling installment of the CasHank Hootenanny Jamboree, this time sans any cunt incidents (two months running, we're on a roll here!). Last night Buttermilk was really packed, though, because this month's hoot was part of the Brooklyn Country Music Festival. Don't worry, you didn't miss it. There are still three nights left! Hurry! Hurry!

Letter to the Editor

It took them about three weeks to do it, but The Villager finally printed my letter to the editor [2nd item].

DISCLAIMER: If you don't give a shit about West Village politics, you will find the letter incredibly boring, so don't bother reading it.

More later....

Thursday, July 28, 2005


Seems like I've pissed off some of the Politicker's readers. Apparently my post about having a crush on City Council Speaker Gifford Miller has rubbed a few New Yorkers the wrong way. However, when the Politicker cited me, he left out the real meat of my post. Here's what he had to say:
The Politicker tries, as a matter of policy, to ignore the subject of blogging, on the theory that our readers are interested politics, not blogs. The other night, though, New Yorkers for Parks invited a bunch of bloggers to "live-blog" their Mayoral candidates' forum, held in a big, reasonably crowded, and well-airconditioned space at NYU that gave the sense of a real event on a real campaign. Anyway, I'm not sure who spent that evening hitting "refresh" on the live blogs, and The Politicker's notebook doesn't get wireless. But at least one blogger, Emily Farris, got something out of the evening: "I have a huge crush on City Council Speaker Gifford Miller and will probably vote for him in the Democratic Mayoral Primary because of it. But the reasons I have a crush on him are the same reasons I think he'd make a decent mayor (except for the cute way he talks like he has a piece of hard candy in his mouth and that he's just really attractive)...God, he's so hot when he gets snarky with the other candidates!"
He left this out:
Giff was also well informed on the park issue (specifically park maintenance, which everyone else seems to forget about while they're busy allocating capital funds). Though he's a politician and shied a way from a few issues, I felt he was generally honest (which is really the best you can get from a politician these days) and not afraid to be the first one to stand up and answer any question.
But I ain't mad at him--just annoyed with the people who were too lazy to click through and read my entire post.

Why Does the MTA Keep Screwing Us?

I'm a big advocate of public transportation and alternative forms of transportation (bicycles, walking, etc). But I'm now about to narrow that to, "I'm a big advocate of alternative forms of transportation." I've just about had it with the Metropolitan Transit Authority, and it has nothing to do with the fact that the last three times I've tried to get home at night there's been some kind of "unexpected" service interruption (how do four R trains deciding to pass by the local stop at 11:30 p.m. count as an unexpected service interruption?). Apparently, the MTA now has an "unexpected" surplus of $833 million and still plans to raise fares again in 2007. So what, you say? Well, this is at least the third time since I moved to New York five years ago that the MTA has predicted a deficit or close to it, and "amazingly and unexpectedly" ended up with a surplus. Check out this article in today's New York Times:
Buoyed by an unexpected surge in tax revenue, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority announced yesterday that it would have a surplus of $833 million this year and that it would consider using the money to create a giant platform over its West Side railyards, which it could then sell to developers for office and apartment towers. Despite the surplus, the authority indicated that it still planned to raise fares and tolls in 2007 and 2009. The windfall represents a remarkable - but probably short-lived - reversal of fortunes for the authority, which in February had projected a tiny surplus for the year and large deficits starting next year. It now predicts that a combination of soaring tax revenue and low interest rates will add $493 million, all of it not previously anticipated, to its coffers by December. Full Story...
Sure, some of that money is used for capital projects, like the Stillwell Avenue Terminal, but what do most New Yorkers get for this surplus on a daily basis? More delays, fewer token booth attendants and higher fares. Ass holes...

Live Blogging Rocks My (Cyber) World

So last night, I didn't know it while it was happening, but as I was live blogging from the Parks1 Mayoral Forum's blogger alley, I was sitting next to Jen Chung from Gothamist. And today, she linked to me. It's a small blog-o-sphere, after all.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I Have a Huge Crush on Gifford Miller

That's right. I have a huge crush on City Council Speaker Gifford Miller and will probably vote for him in the Democratic Mayoral Primary because of it. But the reasons I have a crush on him are the same reasons I think he'd make a decent mayor (except for the cute way he talks like he has a piece of hard candy in his mouth and that he's just really attractive). Tonight I watched him at the Parks1 Mayoral Forum; and in addition to being charismatic and feisty, Giff was also well informed on the park issue (specifically park maintenance, which everyone else seems to forget about while they're busy allocating capital funds). Though he's a politician and shied a way from a few issues, I felt he was generally honest (which is really the best you can get from a politician these days) and not afraid to be the first one to stand up and answer any question. Plus, did I mention he's really cute? Think how much more fun NY1 could be to watch. And, God, he's so hot when he gets snarky with the other candidates!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Parks Pledge

I just noticed that NONE of the four mayoral candidates here at the forum tonight have signed the Parks1 Candidate Pledge.

Virgin Live Blogging

Live blogging for the first time at the Parks1 Mayoral forum. Check it out here.

Hot, Hot Heat!

Today is going to be HOTT in so many ways. Ninety-three degrees is the high with a heat index of close to one hundred. And because I like to make myself suffer, I'll be riding with Time's Up! in that heat to the Parks1 mayoral forum at NYU tonight, where my sweaty ass will proceed to blog about the event. So check back here around 7 or 7:15 if you weren't lucky enough to get a ticket to this event (apparently the response was so great they had to move to a bigger venue). I'm warning you, I'm biased. For instance, I can't stand current Manhattan Borough President C. Virginia Fields. But who can, really? Other than that, I haven't decided which mayoral candidate I'm voting for, so this should be interesting. Stay tuned.


We all know I'm broke as a joke and I've been wanting to do this for a long time: I'm going to be a freelance political public relations consultant. But I need a good name. I want to buy a domain name soon but I'm stuck on a name here. is taken, as is (Emily Farris Public Relations). Voting "no" on eefers, that's my blog. It could also have nothing to do with my name, like 12StarPR (Not that I'd really call it that--that just popped into my head because I have 12 star tattoos. Plus, what happens when I get more tattoos?). So, I'm reaching out to you, my huge eefers audience (I think there are about 5 regulars?) for help.

Monday, July 25, 2005

My Sunday in Pictures

Check out Mr. Random's flickr slideshow of our Sunday "pool party" on Miss Kris's roof.

Here's a sneak peek.

eefers on Farting

Why is it acceptable for men to fart and not for women? Of course, in most social settings, it's unacceptable for anyone to fart, but when two, three, four people are hanging out and a guy farts, people laugh then it's over. In the same situation, if a girl farts, it's a whole different story: people are uncomfortable, maybe even disgusted. Moreover, why is it more socially acceptable to burp than to fart? Both can smell hideous and honestly, more people come in contact with my mouth than with my ass, so wouldn't one want non-pleasing smells and sounds to come out of an orifice that he/she doesn't have to deal with?

For your reading enjoyment (or not) A Trip to the Gym for Your Colon: Emily Farris Investigates.

And Now For Something Happy

Centipede hunter, mouse catcher and garbage disposal, Eve the Cat:

Sometimes I Just Want to go Live on a Farm

God, I love the city. Our bags are searched on the subway because of terror threats, and apparently if they find anything even remotely "illegal" (anti-war stickers, magic markers, etc.) in our bags, they can arrest us. My apartment is full of giant, human-eating insects. And about a bazillion people were killed in Brooklyn this weekend, including this pregnant woman. On the bright side, I don't have to worry about having my bag searched because I'm too shit broke to take the subway.

Really, I do love this city. But sometimes it's hard for the good to outweigh the bad. Especially any time I pick up a newspaper or visit a website, everything I see is about terrorism, murder, overdevelopment, etc. Is it possible to be well informed on current events and happy in a place like New York City?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

They're Baaaack

That's right, those creepy, crawly spawns of Satan are back.

The house centipedes are back for the season and my roommate spotted the first one tonight. She killed it with her Super Powers (a.k.a. a can of Raid), but that means there are more to come. I'm a prisoner in my own home. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anything knowing those fuckers are crawling around in my apartment. Ugh. I shudder at the thought. Nothing, I mean, NOTHING should have that many legs. Ever. Ever. Ever! End of story.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Why Didn't I Hear From You? Wait, I Don't Care!

It's 3:22 on a Tuesday afternoon. My phone has not rung once. Not my home/work phone or my cell phone. One would think I might be upset. Hell no! I love it. Now, don't you go calling me just to ruin my lucky streak. Don't mess with Hurricane Emily! Wshooo!
UPDATE: 15 minutes later and I've had two phone calls. I jinxed myself. Bah!

Friday, July 15, 2005

The Brooklyn Blog-o-Sphere Unites at Park Slope Drinking Liberally

From Left to Right: Laura, eefers, Miss Kris and Mr. Random

Quick Breakdown: I met Laura through her boyfriend Frank. Frank marshaled my Bike to Beat Bush last summer. I met Miss Kris through Laura (they used to work together) but only because I had a link to Mr. Random's blog on my blog. Miss Kris had met Mr. Random through a blogging site and saw a link for Mr. Random's blog on my blog (she found my blog through Laura's blog). Miss Kris wondered how I knew Mr. Random and she contacted me. I told her I met him through Friendster (which I did). Does any of that make sense?

This picture was taken by Brian, who I met (believe it or not) through his blog via Gawker and the New York Post. Read that story.

More about Drinking Liberally.

Kris and The Onion on what dorks we all are.

And They Were All Yellow...

Yesterday I couldn't quite figure out why I was so tired. I'm talking really tired. I thought it might be that I'd only had one cup of coffee, but then I remembered I took my Vitamin-B (I've been taking that for energy and trying not to have the second cup of coffee every day) and that's been working pretty well as a substitute. This morning I figured it out. Let's see what eefers had to eat yesterday:

For Breakfast
A bagel with egg, cheese and (gasp!) bacon (the gasp is because I'm a "vegetarian"). I was going to eat something healthy, but when I went into the deli for my coffee, all that fat and grease smelled so damn good!

For Lunch
Mac and Cheese. But it was healthy-ish. I used Annie's Mac & Cheese with a can of cream corn (which by the way is creamED corn, it doesn't actually contain cream). No butter. No milk. All good.

For Dinner
Oh look! More mac and cheese. And this time it was the gooey stuff from Jack's. Basically noodles floating in cheese and butter.

Oh, and there was that hot dog at Rudy's. But that was more of a beer sponge than actual food.

I really think I have a serious addiction to macaroni and cheese. Well, cheese in general. It's good on just about anything. It's a shame the place with the good bagels and the place with the amazing mac are both within three blocks of my apartment while the place that has the amazing salads (that I love almost as much as the mac) is a much longer walk. But after yesterday, I have a lot of walking to do.

Hurricane Emily

I don't know whether it's a good thing to have an incredibly destructive hurricane with my name, but it makes for some good times in Photoshop. Watch out! Wshwoooo!


Thursday, July 14, 2005

I've Really Made It

That's right, eefers has made it. Made it big. This is bigger than having my picture taken with Howard Dean. "What could it be?" you ask. Well, I've been Gawkered. Nope. You're not reading things. See it for yourself. Link [4th Item]

This is Where it Gets Personal

If you'll recall, almost two weeks ago, I was slightly horrified by a picture and pretty horrible profile of me in the dating section of the New York Post. I got over it and didn't think much more about it until my friend Ruth saw this post via Gawker:
Emily's profile is a little more troubling. The good parts: she's cute, likes ambitious guys, and is outgoing. The bad news: she's likely staunchly liberal and seems to be well-immersed in that scene. It comes up in three answers to various questions. So, she's poltically [sic] obsessed, and that could be divisive. A more pertinent concern: she seems to rule out guys who are super trendy, muscular, gadget-obsessed (or hyper-communicative), skinny, Republican, or slick-haired. Not that I defend any of those attributes, but she takes more time excluding people than describing what she really wants. I'm wary about her. Except for the knitting part.
The Post Poster (we'll call him Brian) and I started emailing after I posted on his blog in defense of my profile. He showed up at Park Slope Drinking Liberally last night and now I'll direct you to his blog for a detailed retelling of the events that transpired. Here's a little sample:
I got to know that, yes, indeed, she is a dedicated liberal and would not want to be in a situation where a conservative male would butt heads with her. She is also insistent on avoiding dates with certain types of men, which is where the "What's Not Sexy?" list came from. My take: for a general dating profile, this is fair enough. Her list of criteria will surely exclude certain people from her potential dating pool, but that's sort of the point. She knows what she likes and what she stands for - and she isn't afraid to be clear and open about it from the beginning. She's not pompous or dismissive, either - she is friendly and cordial with everyone regardless of whether they're "sexy" or not. I find all of that admirable.Complete Post
I agreed to do the Post dating thing because I knew it would make for a good story. And look, the story continues!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Stop the Insanity

I just learned via the Bike Blog that another cyclist, Kieth Alexander (I'm not sure if this is the right guy, I got this link from the Bike Blog), was killed in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn last night.

That's six cyclists in New York city in two months.

Help Take Back Congress

David Alpert and Emily Farris invite you to

Chris onto Congress
An evening of live music, comedy and camaraderie to help put Chris Owens, a progressive candidate running in Brooklyn’s 11th district, in the U.S. Congress in 2006.

Wednesday, July 20
6:30-8:30 p.m.

at The (New) Tank
208 W. 37th Street between 7th and 8th Avenues
$10 Suggested Minimum Contribution*
to Chris Owens for Congress**


Host Committee:
David Alpert, Emily Farris,
Justin Krebs, Benjamin Smith


Chris Owens is a father and husband, community leader, progressive Democrat, and a son of incumbent Congressman Major R. Owens. Major Owens will not be seeking re-election in 2006. Chris Owens cares about democratic institutions, civil rights, reproductive rights, rights for working people, support for small businesses, the protection of our environment, good and ethical business practices around the world, quality health care, affordable housing, a lasting peace in the world, support for our allies, and cost savings through sensible government. Chris Owens has worked in the private, non-profit and public sectors and he has held elected office.

More on Chris Owens.

*Cash bar available with beer and wine.
**Minus the cost of the Space Rental

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Gawked and Observed

Gotta get the facts right, right? Link

Top 5 Reasons to Drink Liberally in Park Slope Tomorrow

5. Because it's been a month since we all got together for drinks. And that's just too damn long.

4. Because it's hot outside. And beer is cold.

3. Because New York won't host the 2012 Olympics. Some of us (me!) will drink excitedly to that while others might raise a glass with grief.

2. Because someone other than Bruce Ratner has bid on the Atlantic Yards.

1. Because there's too much going on in D.C. and around the world right now to even bother listing any of it in this post. So, pick your topic (or not) and bring it to Drinking Liberally.

Park Slope Drinking Liberally
Wednesday, July 13
7 p.m. Onward
5th Avenue at 12th Street
Take the R or the F to 4th Ave/9th Street

I've Been Blogged

Thanks to my friend Ruth for alerting me to this blog she found via Gawker. Apparently, someone is way more obsessed with the Post dating section than I am:
Emily's profile is a little more troubling. The good parts: she's cute, likes ambitious guys, and is outgoing. The bad news: she's likely staunchly liberal and seems to be well-immersed in that scene. It comes up in three answers to various questions. So, she's poltically [sic] obsessed, and that could be divisive. A more pertinent concern: she seems to rule out guys who are super trendy, muscular, gadget-obsessed (or hyper-communicative), skinny, Republican, or slick-haired. Not that I defend any of those attributes, but she takes more time excluding people than describing what she really wants. I'm wary about her. Except for the knitting part. Link
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I answered that questionnaire thinking it was something they'd use to match me up, not to quote me. We all know I'm a little more clever (and self-involved) than that. And I've been on one too many Internet dates to know that if you're not incredibly specific about what you want, you're probably not going to click. It's different when you meet people organically--then, there's at least chemistry (and I won't lie, I've even had chemistry with a few Republicans...well, ONE Republican).

Thursday, July 07, 2005



The sun hasn't shone all day. Makes me feel kind of blah. The dripping from the a/c upstairs also makes me feel like it's rainy and dreary.

Strange thing, that weather. When the weather sucks, I hate New York. When it's great, I love it here. Maybe I need one of those hats with a lamp to help combat "seasonal depression."

Party with eefers for a Damn Good Cause

It's time for another one of my parties, and this time it's for a good cause. I want to help make Norman Siegel our next Public Advocate. As part of the Siegel in the City house party series, I'm throwing a fundraising house party for him this Friday, July 8 (that's tomorrow, yo).

For those of you who don't know him, Norman has been representing Critical Mass riders and those who were arrested during the RNC, among others.

As Executive Director of the NYCLU (1985-2000), Norman was involved in some of the City’s most critical civil rights and civil liberties struggles, including: the creation of an independent Civilian Complaint Review Board, the successful defense of the Brooklyn Museum’s right to exhibit controversial art and the fight for citizens’ access to the steps of City Hall for protesting.

In the last three years in private practice, Norman has advocated for and represented the newly created Association of New York City Education Councils and the Williamsburg community’s right to keep its local firehouse open.

The minimum suggested donation is $10, but I encourage you to donate more.

To receive the e-vite send me an e-mail.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Holy Shit, That's Funny

Now, I'm usually enraged over bike accidents (i.e. car hits bike). But bike hits police officer on foot... Wait! Wait! It gets better:
GLENEAGLES, Scotland (AP) -- President Bush collided with a local police officer and fell during a bike ride on the grounds of the Gleneagles golf resort while attending a meeting of world leaders Wednesday.

Bush suffered "mild to moderate" scrapes on his hands and arms that required bandages by the White House physician, said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. The accident occurred on asphalt, McClellan said. It was raining lightly at the time, and Bush was wearing a helmet. More
Not so funny: I was almost hit by a car on my way home tonight. As I was coming off of the Manhattan Bridge (of course), turning left onto Jay Street, a car was making a right turn onto the same street and almost knocked me into the opposite lane of traffic. Fortunately I stuck my arm up in the air and started waving to her to stop. At the next light the driver caught up to me and almost apologized. "I was going to say I'm sorry, but I didn't see you back there."

The New Brooklyn

If downtown Brooklyn really gets slanted buildings like that, I'll throw up. On them. Seriously. More at Curbed.

In other news, New York didn't didn't get the Olympics. Shit. Oh, wait. That's fabulous! Check out this article about why having the Games here would have been such a bad idea, anyway.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's summer time and hot damn! Today I got an intern. My job (and in turn my life) is about to improve by 300 percent.

And because I've been an intern myself, I promised to be a cool boss. "For every shitty task I give you, I'll give you something cool to do," I told him. And I'm sticking to it.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Here It Is...

...and, of course, they used the worst picture of me, EVER. Whatever; at least it will be in black and white in print.

I'm not even going to tell you what it is because you already know, but you can click on the link if you're really that curious to see it.

UPDATE: OK, so the black and white isn't better. It might be bigger, but not better. Ouch.

They also used my quotes verbatim, which I didn't think they'd do. I filled out that thing in like 2 seconds. I should have known. And I'm lagging in the polls. Get in there and vote for me if only for my own ego.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Humiliating News

This Sunday, I'm going to be featured in the dating section of the New York Post.

I don't quite understand the whole situation, but apparently someone will choose between me and two other women and decide who he wants to go out on a date with. Then the Post will send us (them?) out on a date and run a he said/she said the following Sunday.

This is something I never would have agreed to--it's like reality TV, but on paper, and we all know how much I hate reality TV--but my friend John did this last fall, so I figured it might be OK.

I'll keep you updated. Just know I only posted here in case any of you read the Post and I wanted you to hear it from me before seeing my mug on Page Six or something. Also know that I'll be highly disappointed if I find out you get your news (save gossip and sports) from the Post.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Pack Up the Babies and Grab the Old Ladies

Never mind last month's cunt incident. Head to the HOOT tonight.

The CasHank Hootenanny Jamboree is an acoustic classic country jam session for beginners and pros alike. We stick to the four chord rule so that it's easy for anyone to join in on the fun. All good singers, players and listeners are welcome.

The CasHank Hootenanny Jamboree
last Thursday of every month
@ Buttermilk
577 5th Ave. (at 16th St.)
Brooklyn, NY
9pm 'til midnight, no cover, $10 Yuengleng pitchers for "liquid courage"




High Security

Last night I attended the simultaneous memorial for four cyclists that have been killed in New York City in the past six weeks. I went to Liz Padilla's, in Park Slope, for obvious reasons--proximity being one.

The memorial was really nice... memorial3

...but did we really need four cops just to mourn? memorial 2

I'll admit, they were nice enough to direct people around us while we were having our moment of silence, but I think they were really there in case we decided to riot. If only they'd pay this much attention to us while we're commuting maybe they wouldn't have to worry about us rioting.

Thanks to Jym Dyer from Time's Up for organizing and speaking at the memorial.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Humiliating News

Someone please remind me on Friday or Saturday to post my humiliating news. Thanks.

A Rose by Any Other Name? WTF?

So there's been some talk over at Approaching Midnight about names--keeping them, hyphenating them, changing them, etc.

I thought I'd offer my two cents.

I always have been and always will be Emily Farris. Changing my name when or if I get married has never crossed my mind. And it's not because I'm a liberal or liberated, which I am. It's because I like my name. My name defines who I am. I am Emily Farris. When or if I get married I'm not going to change who I am, so why change my name? Put an apple in a fruit salad, and you still call it apple.

There are practical reasons to keep my name. For one, I've already established myself as a freelance writer and political activist and a name change in the next 10 years would be a detriment to my career. Also, my father doesn't have any sons, and I want to carry on the Farris name as long as possible. But truth be told, I haven't made this decision based on any practicalities. Keeping my name has never been a question in my mind. Changing my last name is just as strange as changing my first or my middle.

Not that there's anything special about my name. For the past 10 years Emily has been the number one baby name for girls. And Farris, though not common like Smith or Jones, is a good, solid easy name to pronounce and remember. Other than "Ferris Wheel" and "Ferris Beuller," it's a lame-joke-free name. It's definitely cruelty free.

In junior high, when my friends would write their first name with their crush's last, I never did. Sure, I drew the little hearts with the arrows through them and made cute name doodles, but it was always "Emily + Brandon" or "Emily + Steve." First names were fair game. But I never had any desire, even at that young, boy-crazy age, to take any one else's last name, in jest or lust.

"What about when you have kids, and they take your husbands name?" My older sister Heather, who married at 20 and took her husband's name, has asked me.

My response: "My mom and I had different names when I was growing up and it never bothered me. You turned out OK, too."

My parents divorced when I was three and my mom legally reclaimed her maiden name shortly thereafter. And even in a conservative suburb like Independence, Missouri, I never had any problems with it. Heather, who has a different mother than my younger sister Jo and me, also kept the Farris name after her mother remarried and took her new husband’s name. It didn't seem to traumatize any of us.

Family models are changing, and the ritual of taking the husband's name might soon be archaic. I'm keeping my my name forever.

"What if your future husband is upset by this?" you may ask.

Come on now, would I really marry someone that conventional?

Unless, of course, I meet someone with the last name "Imafuckingrockstar." Then, I might reconsider.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

My Only Subway Joy is Gone

Well, one of two subway joys, anyway. One is listening to my iPod. It's stupid of me to do that while riding my bike. The other is drinking coffee. Now--as part of the new rules set forth by the MTA, like no walking between cars--sipping from an open container is prohibited on New York City subways.

This really annoys me. On the mornings when I know I'm going to ride my bike (most mornings), I'll go to the deli right after I crawl out of bed and get my iced coffee. I drink it while getting ready, but it's not quite the pleasurable experience it should be. Coffee should be enjoyed, not chugged to fulfill some addiction. If I know I'm taking the subway, I'll get ready and get my coffee on the way to the station. It's rare I take the subway (if it's really rainy or cold or I have to not look like a sweaty beast when I arrive somewhere), but when I do, it brings me joy and saves me time to leisurely drink my coffee on the subway. (I'll admit, there was one time when I had a hot coffee in my hand on a crowded train, the train jerked and my coffee splashed all over the back of some guys jacket. But I cleaned it off without him even noticing.) New Yorkers drink coffee on the subways in the morning. It's like eating street meat or jaywalking.

I understand that these rules are put into place to keep the trains clean for everyone (and the Path train is so nice because of the NJT's rules, blah, blah). Banning food would be one thing--and I don't even see anything about food--but banning coffee from a New York City subway? Fuggedaboutit!

Check out the New York Times article that lays out the new rules. doesn't say anything about sipping from a straw. I assume that counts as an open container, but I might get away with my iced coffee after all. I'm going to investigate. The rule aren't posted on the MTA's website yet (at least not that I can find).

Back in the Saddle

Today, I felt like a real blogger for the first time. Thanks to Antlered Girl for requesting I post, I'm posting...though I should be working. What kind of blogger would I be if I didn't? I have been gone for a few days, carried away with cleaning my apartment and that thing called "work." And I guess I'm suffering from a slight case of Bloggers Block, if there is such a thing. I guess nothing too exciting has gone on in my life since Sunday. Had I bothered to post yeterday, I could have done another Manic Monday roundup, with the clever title, Just Another Manic Monday. But, alas, I did not. So, I'll save that for next Monday. Watch out for it.

For now, here's a crapload of fun and/or important things to do in the coming weeks.

1. If you've been paying any attention to the recent cyclist accidents, you should attend the Simultaneous Memorial for Cyclist Deaths this Wednesday (that's TOMORROW), June 29th at 7pm. Chose your location: Andrew Morgan, 25, Houston & Elizabeth; Manhattan, Elizabeth Padilla, 28, 5th Avenue and Prospect Place, Brooklyn; Brandie Bailey, 21, Houston & Avenue A, Manhattan; Jerome Allen, 59, Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island. Bring candles and flowers. There will be a Simultaneous Moment of Silence at 7:20pm

2. Need a country music fix? Head down to Park Slope Thursday night for the CasHank Hootenanny Jamboree. You don't play an instrument? Come and watch me rock out on the tambourine. At Buttermilk, 16th Street and 5th Avenue in the Slope, 9 pm. to midnight, free.

3. Stuck in the City for 4th of July Weekend? On Saturday, July 2, head to midtown for Freedom Weekend, a day-long picnic/softball tournament organized by leftie groups such as Swing the State, Drinking Liberally, Democracy for New York City and more.

4. Support Public Advocate candidate Norman Siegel while partying at my house. That's right, party at the lair de eefers. Send me an e-mail and I'll send you the evite. Friday, July 8, 8 p.m. until we can't stay awake anymore, $10.

I hope to be back tomorrow with something insightful. Especially since the Supreme Court just made many important decisions I should comment on. And, later this week, I could be posting something humiliating. Stay tuned.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

And Then There Were Two...And Then There Was Paradise

So I bought the yellow Schwinn today. Turns out the guy downstairs has the same bike (though he's put different wheels, seat, etc. on it). This is going to be my commuter bike, while my other bike will be my Brooklyn bike (or my when-I'm-wearing-a-skirt bike, the crossbar is pretty high on the Schwinn).

The front brake on the new bike is squeaky. I squirted some water on it and it was fine until it dried. I think I'm going to put a tiny bit of WD40 on it. Any other ideas?

Re: Paradise...On the way back from picking up the Schwinn, I decided to do a loop through Prospect Park--something I've never done at night. It was pure heaven. I was the only one on the road, it was dark and it was quiet. And on my new bike I was going pretty fast. AND, on a bike without a basket, I can ride with no hands, which is a really nice--though somewhat scary--feeling.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Trading Up?

I realized when trying to escape the cops at Critical Mass last night that my bike, though I love it, can't quite keep up with everyone else's. I gave this bike a road test today. It's old, yellow, in great shape and a Schwinn. I'll have to get used to leaning forward but for longer rides (and remember, I want to do the Transportation Alternatives Century Ride in September) it will be great.

This bike was nice, because unlike newer bikes, the gears don't click and get stuck; they're very smooth. I thought I hated gears, but I really enjoyed riding this bike. I need someone to convince me that it's worth $150, though.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Some Good Friday Afternoon News: Big Bird Lives On

From Noah Winer over at MoveOn:
"In an unexpected move yesterday afternoon, the House of Representatives approved a measure to restore $100 million of funding for NPR, PBS and local public stations. Republican leaders were proposing to slash $200 million from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, but you helped stop them."
This brings up an interesting question: at what age should one start contributing to his/her PBS and NPR affiliates? I listen to NPR religiously, but have yet to contribute. I'd like to, but of course, I am a poor college student and have trouble "contributing" to the landlord and ConEd. I guess I'll make up for it when I'm older and actually carry a balance in my bank account. Thoughts? Opinions?

Critical Mass TONIGHT!

After all of these unfortunate cyclist deaths, I think it's more important than ever that we all turn out for Critical Mass tonight. 7 p.m. Union Square North.

Also, I hear there's a vigil at 6 p.m. at Houston and Elizabeth, where Andrew Morgan was killed on Tuesday.

Also, I think a bunch of Brooklynites are meeting at Grand Army Plaza at 6:30 p.m. to ride over to Union Square together.

See you there.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

What You Don't Know Can Hurt You...Or Someone Else

Riding a bicycle in New York City is like having a death wish.

Tuesday morning, a livery cab struck a 12-year-old boy on the Upper East Side, leaving him in intensive care. Police are still looking for the driver. Later that morning, 25-year-old Andrew Ross Morgan was hit and killed by a furniture delivery truck on the Lower East Side. Morgan is the fourth cyclist—we know of— in the last two months to die after being hit by an automobile.

On June 9, 28-year-old Elizabeth Padilla was killed after being run over by an ice cream delivery truck in Park Slope. The driver didn’t even know he had run over the woman until a passerby waved him down. On May 10, 21-year-old Brandie Bailey was struck and killed on Avenue A by a garbage truck, whose driver also did not know he had hit her until police tracked him down. On April 26, 59-year-old Jerome Allen was mowed down and killed by an SUV on Staten Island.

This should not be a laundry list. But according to Transportation Alternatives—a nonprofit organization working to encourage biking, walking and public transportation as an alternative to driving—in the last 10 years, a cyclist has been killed about every three weeks on a New York City Street. It’s a misconception that cycling in this city is safe, probably because these deaths are not reported. The New York Times, one of only two daily papers to run the story of Morgan’s unfortunate death, ran only one paragraph in the Metro Briefing. The New York Daily News also ran a short piece. The Daily News and Newsday were the only two dailies to run stories on Padilla’s death, while only Newsday reported on Bailey’s. No major papers reported Allen’s death.

Word of these tragedies does make its way through the cycling community over blogs, email lists and in bike shops, but cyclists aren’t the people who need to be made aware. We know the dangers of riding on New York City Streets, and some call us crazy for still riding. Sure, some of us navigate with reckless abandon, but we are always aware of cars, even if not always aware of pedestrians. But motorists in New York City, as a rule, are simply not aware of cyclists. If every motorist knew how often these automobile vs. bicycle accidents happen, they might take a second look before making a left turn over a bike lane, throwing open the car door or even eating while driving—I was recently almost run over near the site of Padilla’s death by a truck whose driver was eating ice cream (yes, with a spoon; that requires two hands, leaving none for the steering wheel).

I’m sure bicycle deaths aren’t reported because they are so common, not because the city or the media hates cyclists, as some of my fellow riders like to claim. However, without proper coverage, motorists will continue to be oblivious to cyclists and taxi passengers will freely flail doors into bike lanes.

Short of supplying every biker in the city with “Watch out! This car almost killed a cyclist!” stickers to slap on every vehicle that cuts us off or almost doors us, a bicycle awareness campaign should be put into place, even if it’s one news outlet deciding to report on every such accident. Bike lanes are great, and the cycling community is certainly grateful for them, but they don’t do much good if motorists don’t stay out of them or at least check them before opening a car door or pulling in to double park.

Maybe if the papers started to report on every cyclist death in the city, after a while, there wouldn’t be so many to report.

Think Nationally, Freak Out Locally

The Supreme Court has just ruled that cities can sieze personal property and transfer it to developers if the development can boost the economy. This is not going to help our Brooklyn Stadium fight, among other things.

Update: Cyclist Killed

The New York Times finally ran something about the cyclist, Andrew Ross Morgan of Brooklyn, who was killed Wednesday morning. While I'm glad they wrote something, I'm disappointed it only ended up in the Metro Briefing. Must have been a slow news day for them because they never reported on Liz Padilla's death. There aren't too many more details in this story, but now we know it was a furniture delivery truck. The Times is calling it a collision. Link [4th Item]

I'm interested to see what other news outlets might report on this specific incident or the issue as a whole.

UPDATE: It's Thursday morning, 9:16 a.m. and I can't fnd anything else on Google News about this death. If anyone sees/hears anything, please leave me a comment or send me an e-mail and let me know.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Out of Control

This car-hits-cyclist shit is getting a little out of control. Apparently, a livery cab driver hit a 12-year-old boy on a bike and drove off last night. Link via NY1

Another Bicyclist Killed

Just got word over the Brooklyn Critical Mass list that another cyclist was killed today. According to Jym Dyer over at Time's Up!, Brooklyn bicyclist Andrew Ross Morgan, 25, was killed by a truck in Manhattan on Houston near Elizabeth today. If I find out any more details, I'll post them here.

UPDATE: According to Jym, there was some press on the scene; so this might show up in/on the news soon.

We need a sticker campaign. Every cyclist in the city should have some "Watch Out, This Car Almost Killed a Cyclist" stickers to slap on the back of every car that almost doors us, cuts us off or parks in a bike lane. Until then, here's a little less offensive version (though I like my offensive version better).

Public Advocate, Hard at Work

I'm glad to see our public advocate, Betsy Gotbaum, is doing something for us. Well, at least complaining about something for us. From the Post via Gawker (you need a sign in for the Post now):
"More than one-quarter of all subway MetroCard swipes have failed since the MTA kicked off its fare-card program, according to a report by the city Public Advocate’s Office."
Um, that's great and all Betsy, but where have you been the past three and a half years? My money is on her opponent, Norman Siegel--seriously. He's the only candidate I've contributed to, ever. And I'm throwing a house party for him Friday, July 8, so mark your calendar. Oh, and I'm also peitioning for him at the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island this Saturday. E-mail me if you'd like to join. (Yes, we can dress up as mermaids, too.)

UPDATE: Turns out Ms. Gotbaum got her figures from the MTA. Way to do investigative reporting. I bet they're right on. Via Gothamist (I refuse to sign up with the Post.)

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I Ain't Stupid No More

Riding my bicycle without a helmet is the stupidest thing I do. Well, used to do. Today, I broke down and bought a helmet--a cute one at that. (But I'm taking off the stickers. Sorry Triple Eight; I don't do logos.)

Monday, June 20, 2005

The Final Frontier

I can't go, because I'm babysitting (because I'm broke) but SouthSouthSlope is having a meeting to talk overdevelopment/rezoning Tuesday at 6:30 p.m. at St. John-St. Matthews-Emanuel Lutheran Church, 283 Prospect Avenue between 5th & 6th Avenues.