Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Only in New York

Sometimes I get sad that I never have those creepy New York experiences that everyone else seems to have. They make for good stories. But tonight, I finally had mine.

I was on my way to Brooklyn on the D train, in a window seat--which sits perpendicular to the seats that run along the inside edges of the cars. A man dressed in all black sat in front of me holding a messenger bag on his lap. After four or five stops I looked down and noticed his pubic hairs. I at first thought that he had on very low pants and that his shirt was riding up. I tried to look up and around and everywhere but at his lap, but I couldn't help looking down. And then it happened. He adjusted the messenger bag and there it was: his penis! It wasn't hard and he wasn't playing with it. It was just...there.

On the Manhattan Bridge I got out my cell phone to text message my boyfriend and tell him what had happened. I considered taking a picture of the man (no, not his penis) to turn into the police like this woman did in August. But then I reconsidered. He wasn't really exposing himself; he was covering his penis with his messenger bag. I figured it was the equivalent of a man catching a glimpse of a woman's vagina when she crosses her legs (of course to really be equivalent, she'd have to be sans underwear).

As we approached my stop, I got up. So did he. But instead of zipping up his pants he just kept his bag in front of his sack.

7 comments:

James said...

Jesus, this is really embarrasing. I'm really sorry Emily, I had no idea you were paying attention. I need to get a bigger messenger bag. Again, my bad.

eefers said...

Actually, "James" you don't. A wallet would have done just fine. It was just the adjustment that revealed your bits.

eefers said...

I didn't mean that to insult James, anyone. It was intended for my flasher, by the way.

James said...

Your apology was too late. I know how I'll be spending my next therapy session.

PiggyReese said...

Thats nasty.
It's like the time mom rested her head on the pole next to the seat on the 6 train and closed her eyes. When she looked up, a man was right there with his penis out holding it in front of her face!
That ia the last time she will ever close her eyes on the subway!

Tree Trunk Ho Slappa said...

Mine was in Riverside park when i was walking my bike up the stairs. The man was standing there in typical flasher fashion - a black coat. He left the coat open and there was his little black thing-y. I was kinda sad to see that the rumours are not true. It was just a little limp thingy. No need to show me.

Anonymous said...

That sounds like the same guy who flashed me last night on the A train. Dark clothes, messenger bag. He was rocking in his seat which at first I thought was some kind of nervous disorder... until I looked across the aisle and saw his stuff just dangling there.