Sunday, December 17, 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

So, I'm preparing a new home for eefers. It's time to grow this beast to include multiple pages, as (believe it or not) eefers.com will also serve as my "professional website," including this blog in all its gauche glory. Check it out and let me know what you think. I'm going to rearrange some of the pages, and the blog probably won't be the homepage, but I'm digging the new format.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Rheeeee, Rheeeee, Rheeee!

If you couldn't tell, that's the stabbing sound I associate with the shower scene in Psycho.

I'm scared to death of knives--can't even look at them. Forget about medical dramas where they cut into people, I can't even watch Mario Batali chop asparagus on Iron Chef for fear he'll take off one of his chubby fingers along with the stalks. So it should come as no surprise that the only two things I ever attempt in the kitchen are cocktails and casseroles. And the one that requires precision requires only this evil thing I call Knife for garnish--and that's what houseguests are for. It usually goes a little something like this:
Guest: "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Me: "Youbetcha! Can you grab that knife and cut some lemons and limes?"

Guest: "This knife is so cool. Where'd you get it?"
I then go on to explain that this "cool" ceramic knife is the one knife I own. And I don't even really own it.

A few years back I was dating a very nice teacher I'd met on lavalife.com. He shared my love of Indian food and dared, for our third date, to travel to my Brighton Beach apartment from his on the Upper East Side to prepare my favorite Indian dish, Chicken Tikka Masala. He inquired about my knife situation and thought I was kidding when I admitted I only had one knife that I'd used as a screwdriver so it was missing a tip, in addition to being cheap and dull, very dull.

Long story short (here you fill in your own story that involves absolutely no sex and very little heavy petting), I lost Dan and somehow kept the knife. (It happens to also be missing a tiny bit of its tip because, yeah, I used it as a screwdriver, but at least it's still sharp as hell.)

Where is this story going, you ask? Well, it is going to tell you that today I just signed with a literary agency where a very cool agent will work to publish MY COOKBOOK--on casseroles, of course. And why am I telling you this? I guess out of a sense of self-pride, and also to give a little hope to people who have given up on that whole you-can-do-anything-you-put-your-mind-to bullshit. Guess what? Turns out it's not bullshit. A girl who's afraid of knives is writing a cookbook that might actually be published. What's next? Authors who can't write? Stupid presidents? The possibilities are endless. Though I will give myself more credit than W, and go out on a limb and say I can make a better casserole than he can make... a complete sentence?

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

It's Fun to Stay at The...

I sometimes feel like it's a federal offense to not belong to a gym in New York City. Rather, it's a federal offense to be fat in New York City. While (I hope) I don't qualify as fat, I'm certainly festively plump and my food baby has been growing at a rapid speed lately -- in part, thanks to the fantastic meals my boyfriend prepares and my general lack of exercise. I'm absolutely not going to stop scarfing those meals, either. So, I broke down and joined the gym last night...after taking a class that seriously kicked my ass. Aquarobics and Movement for the Older Adult, here I come! And that class where you pay a little extra for them to massage you sounds fun, too.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Another Straphanger Saved From My Wrath

Anything I can do to keep from riding the subway during rush hours, I do -- as much for my sanity, as for my fellow commuters, the ones I consider bludgeoning every day for such offenses as clipping their nails and smelling bad. I've even gone so far as to quit my job (but that doesn't come until later). In the mean time, Water Taxi just lowered their rates from something like $17 to $2 and added service from Dumbo.

OMG, I Can Finally Save the Mushroom Princess!

Fifteen freaking years later, someone finally figured out that a motion-sensitive controller might help those of us who are a little video game-tarded get past level one of anything but Duck Hunt and Clay Shooting. You see, as a kid, I always let the poor Mushroom Princess die, because instead of pushing the right buttons in the correct sequence, I'd flail my arms in an attemt to rescue her from the evil pods. So all you button pushers better watch out once I get my hands on a Nintendo Wii. This flailer is coming for you... but in, like, six months when the line dies down.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Fun With Braces

I was poking around my old orthodontist's website (don't ask me why) and found this fun game where you can preview colored brace bands on a metal mouth. Anyone else used to change their bands for the holidays? I once did red, white and blue for 4th of July but then ate too much chocolate cake and spent the next five weeks with red, yellow and blue bands.

Friday, November 10, 2006

A Farewell to Pants


I'd like to share a little of my learned wisdom with my loyal readers: when you spill coffee on your pants during your morning commute and proceed to blame your employer for forcing you to wear pants in the first place, it's probably time to leave your job. And that's exactly what I have done. Well, I'm still here through mid-December, but I filed my official letter of resignation yesterday. And hot damn, am I excited to begin my new life... you guessed it: without pants.

Those of you who know me well have probably seen me naked. Not because I'm an exhibitionist or have posed (completely) nude for anyone, but because I just don't like to wear clothes -- especially pants. So, I've decided that from this point forward, the majority of my income will come from jobs that don't require me to wear pants, like writing, and website design -- things I can do from home.

Sure, in the beginning, I'll have to shop a little less and have fewer dinners out, but hey, those activities require pants, so I'm sure the transition will be an easy one. In fact, not wearing pants will probably save me money. Since taking my 9-to-5 job a little over a year ago, I've spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on freaking pants.

So, on Monday, December 11, my first day of freedom from the shackles of pants, I will be the guest of honor at my own Pants Free Party. Everyone's invited. Except the fat guy from the Borat movie. That guy should always wear pants.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

And I'm Proud to Be a Missourian

Let's face it: there are many reasons to not be so proud that I'm from Missouri. Number one would have to be our number one claim to fame — Crystal Meth. That's right, kids, eefers grew up in the Meth Capital of the World, Independence, MO. Then there's that whole John Ascroft thing. And who can forget all the teen pregancies? But sometimes, just sometimes, I'm so damned proud of my home state that I can barely keep from wetting myself, and right now happens to be one of those times. Not only did my homies elect a Democratic WOMAN to the U.S. Senate, they also voted in favor of stem cell research. Oh my god, I can't wait for the Michael J. Fox + Claire McCaskill aborted fetus stem cells to grow into the cutest clone baby ever!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Grand Army Plaza is a Giant Vagina

Oh, yes, it is. [Standard Deviant via Curbed]

Taking Dating to a Whole New Level of Lazy

How desperate does one have to be, really, to get someone else to manage his online personal? From the Craigslist writing/editing jobs:
I need help writing my profile and writing responses to other people's ads using the online personals. Pay is $50 for the profile and $2 per response for writing to other people. If you're in my age range (18 to 30) and really social then please get back to me with why you think you're a good fit. You can work from home or from my office. I don't care but I want to get work on this project done immediately.
How lazy does one have to be to not only not want to get off his ass to meet women, but then to not even have the wherewithall to write his own personal ad and reply to the ads of people he finds interesting? How would that even work? I'd get a really witty email from this guy on Nerve then meet him and find out he's lazy, monotone and has the personality of a stapler?

Now, I know it does not indicate that this is a dude, but it has lazy, anti-social guy written all over it.

Don't Forget to Vote Today, Seriously


And, um, is it terrible that I think W was attractive as a young man? True, he was a Republican coke head and I wouldn't have given him the time of day, but his face wasn't so bad. Poor Laura. I wonder if she had any idea what she was getting herself into...

And Sometimes I Love It

It's no surprise to anyone who reads this blog that I hate, hate, hate midtown. Especially the particular part of midtown where my office happens to be located (the Grand Central area). So, imagine my joy today when I 1. came in not during the 8:59 rush, but at 10:30 because I Voted Today, Did You?, and 2. saw a homeless woman asleep in all her bare-bellied glory, on a chair right outside the fancy-pantsy Cipriani. No, that's not all folks, I passed her as her tributary of piss was making it's way to 42nd Street.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Can Someone Please Tell Me What This Means?

Last night I dreamt that I was charged with writing a fundraising letter for Mark Foley. Any dream interpreters (or wise asses) out there want to help me with this one?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Oh My God, I Could Get So Much More Sleep

From Reuters:
Research into sexsomnia -- making sexual advances toward another person while asleep -- has been hampered as sufferers are so embarrassed by the problem they tend not to own up to it, while doctors do not ask about it.

Papers No One Reads Causing Increased Subway Flooding

An MTA inquiry found that free papers like Metro and amNY -- that are shoved in your face as you're trying to balance your coffee and Metrocard while you're running late to work -- are clogging drains and leading to increased subway flooding. Let this be a lesson to Metro (and especially amNY, that paper is terrible) that if so many people are throwing your papers into the tracks, it might be time to take a new marketing route. I heard kids these days really dig the Internets.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Use Your Noodle

Surprisingly, not a sexual reference. Rather, one to my Second Annual Casserole Party, covered on page 39 of today's New York Post.

And last year's party in the New York Sun.
my 3rd favorite of the night
Photo courtesy Daniel Krieger.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Fried Goat Cheese Balls

My mouth found heaven last night. Or heaven found my mouth. You see, my boyfriend works in the kitchen of the best restaurant in Brooklyn. And though the chef scoffed at the idea of him sending me something as simple as a mixed green salad, there was heaven in that salad. That's right, my friends: fried goat cheese balls. Best. Thing. Ever.

It's Easy Being Green

The League of Conservation Voters released recently their 2006 Scorecard on Congress. Read it and (hopefully don't) weep.

Monday, October 23, 2006

The Thing About Eating Hamburgers...

...especially with onions, is that you can't rid your hands of the evidence. No matter how many times you wash and apply smelly lotion, your hands are going to smell like that hamburger. And, god, it's so damn good.

Nanny on Board: Only in New York

How's my nannying?

A New York mother, and lawyer, launched on Thursday a nanny tracking system that allows New Yorkers to tattle on nannies. Howsmynanny.com sells license plates for strollers. And just as frustrated highway dwellers can complain about reckless big rig drivers, New York pedestrians can now do the same.

The license plates are $50, and once registered, parents will receive alerts in their email boxes should someone complain about their nanny via the website.

A good idea considering many New York parents pay their nannies $15 an hour and the guy who fixes their computer five times that much.

Pedro's Little Buddy, May He Rest in Peace


While the Times (and probably everyone else) claims Nelson De La Rosa was a good luck charm for the Red Sox, we say he was Pedro's good luck charm. And, well, we're Mets fans. Either way, he passed this weekend of "unknown causes." May the little guy rest in peace.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Monee

Kazakhstan's (yeah, Borat) central bank has misspelled the word "bank" on the country's most recently printed money. According to government officials, it was no simple error, with some even citing "political undertones." According to Reuters:
Kazakhs were encouraged to speak Russian, which is written in Cyrillic script, during Soviet times but since independence in 1991, the country has seen the Kazakh language as a national symbol.

The Kazakh word for bank is the Cyrillic form of "bank." On the new note, the word was written with an alternate Kazakh form of the letter K, which has a slightly different pronunciation.

As Gas Prices Fall (Slightly), So Does the Price of Those Cute Shoes

Retail prices were cheaper in September than they had been in nine months, according to Crain's. It's about damn time, election time that is.

No Wonder We're All Fat and Dying

The Marlboro Man is "the most influential character who never lived," according to a book by that title released yesterday.

That's a big deal, considering Marlboro's first attempt at marketing was a flop. Originally marketed as a women's cigarette, early taglines included "Mild as May," and the brand was once endorsed by Mae West. Thanks to marketing geniuses, however, the Marlboro Man was born and our lungs have paid the price ever since.

Kids: cigarettes are not cool.

Making Midtown Less Like Hell One Forum at a Time

Apparently, someone is actually trying to make midtown a little less like hell and a little more bearable. vision42, a group working on plans to get cars off of 42nd Street, is holding an informational forum on their idea to add a crosstown light rail to the street.
Informational Community Forum, with presentation and discussion, to be held on October 24, 2006, at the (lower level) auditorium of the SUNY College of Optometry, 33 West 42nd Street, from 6 to 8 pm. Admission is free; RSVP at info@vision42.org, sending your name and e-mail address.

Zombie Spit in Queens

Five pededstrians minding their own business in Queens have been sprayed with "irritating liquids...that burned and reddened their skin." Watch out Queens residents.

At Least it Wasn't a Blogger This Time

Blah, blah. Jared Paul Stern, former Post gossip reporter got a book deal. Blah, blah.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Times' Typos Almost Make a Smiley on a Sad, Sad Story

Don't Have Babies in Greenpoint Until They Clean Up That Oil

Newtown Creek -- the sliver of dirty water that divides the westernmost portions of Brooklyn and Queens -- is one of America’s most polluted waterways after 17 million gallons of oil were released into it in an underground oil spill that originated at the Exxon Mobil site 56 years ago. And fina-freakin-ly, Congress members are seeking some kind of so-called "action" on the site. This legal jargon does not necessarily translate to a cleaner Newtown Creek, but one (especially one who is moving to Greenpoint in 11 days) can hope.

How to Get Charges Against You Dropped: Die

Ken Lay died an innocent man. Not because he was innocent; he clearly was not. But because he kicked the bucket before he had time to appeal his conviction. While we all know that's some bullshit, what's even more troubling is that this could make it harder for the government to recover the $43.5 million he was accused of stealing... which led to his conviction in the first place.

With This Phone, I Thee Wed

I've had more cell phones than boyfriends, apartments, probably even freelance gigs--and I spent years as a freelancer. I'm constantly replacing my phone for one reason or another (broken flip, busted face plate). But one thing has remained constant: my service provider. That's because my phone usually busts mid contract, and to buy a new phone from Sprint and attach it to my number, I have to sign a new two-year service agreement. So, let's do some simple math:
Sprint's phones are built to last 9 to 12 months
+ Every time I need a new phone I'm required to sign a two-year service agreement
----------------
I'm pretty much married to Sprint for the rest of my life
Now, the sneaky kids over at WikiHow have tempted me with the possibility of getting out. Some of their suggestions include getting a known problematic phone, constantly complain that the service isn't up to par, and the best, join the army.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The AP Needs Some Google Maps Action

From CNN.com:
NEW YORK (AP) -- Police say an aircraft has crashed into a building on Manhattan's Upper East Side at 72nd Street and York Avenue. It is near Rockefeller Center.
Seriously? That's the best description they can come up with to put the location of the Upper East Side into perspective? I mean, I guess I'd understand it if CNN or the AP were located in Rockefeller Center, or if say, Kim Jong Il was currentling taping an interview with Meredeth Viera, but come on. Associated Press, you can do better.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Because Dirty Hipsters Don't Shower

New Yorkers are apparently using much less water than at any point in the past 50 years.

Some Call It Environmental Responsibility

Regifting. We've all done it, whether at the office Christmas party or when going to a housewarming we're not quite prepared for (quick, where's that terrible glittery candle aunt Jane sent?). According to Reuters, nearly 50% of Americans have or do regift. And why is it such a bad thing? I get something that I don't really like, or that's not really me, and instead of that purple turtleneck sweater taking up space in a landfill or becoming a cat bed (she does love cashmere), I give it to someone who actually wears purple turtleneck sweaters. It's not laziness, or even being cheap, it's environmental responsibility, people. Remember that next time I forget to take off the "love, Dad" tag.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Really Long Nap

A man in Austria was recently found dead in his bed -- and he died five years ago. According to an Austrian newspaper, his rent was being automatically deducted from his bank account and neighbors never noticed any smell coming from his apartment (for some reason they weren't curious about the five year's worth of mail piling up outside his door). This story is pretty tragic, considering there was no one in the world to even notice that the man had died. Guess I finally have a reason to make friends with my neighbors.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Guy Who Makes Me Want to Kill Someone Sings Most Requested Funeral Song

Ironic, no? James Blunt, who was voted the fourth most annoying thing ever (even beating those assholes who text in all caps) by Brits, has the most requested funeral song, "Goodbye My Lover." Are junior high girls the only ones picking out their funeral songs, or do people actually like this shit?

Google Horoscopes Really Want Me to Get Fired

God, yesterday they were all "leave work to get a pedicure and tell your boss you're going to Staples" and today they're all:
Career issues may be muddled today and the harder you try to figure out what's really going on, the more confusing it gets (Read: no one here understands me). You might attempt to persuade others to your point of view, but it's difficult to be convincing when you don't have enough clarity (Read: even when I write what I'm trying to say on my face in lipstick, they don't understand me). Loosening the reins of control, however, will probably work out in your favor (Read: remember in Office Space, when Ron Livingston's character stopped giving a fuck and got promoted?).
OK, so work really isn't that bad, but why does my horoscope keep trying to get me in trouble?

Monday, October 02, 2006

How to be a skank ass slut

My Daily Grind-o-Scope

I've never been one to trust a horoscope, but seeing as I'm having One of Those Days at work, I've decided to see what would happen if I applied it to my 9-5:
Your sensible approach to life may be tested as life gets more complex. (Read: work is boring, I should leave). Spacey Neptune is making it difficult for you to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground (Read: go get a pedicure). The situation will probably get even stickier as others misjudge the practicality of your ideas (Read: my boss won't like it when I leave during business hours for a pedicure). Keep your communication as clear and precise as possible to minimize the chaos and confusion (Read: tell them I'm going to Staples).
If I actually grow the balls to do this, I'll let you know how it goes. If my boss is reading this, I'm not really doing it. (Yes, I am). No, I'm really not. (Yeah, I totally am.)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Business in the Front, Party in the Back


Yes. Spirit Airlines is actually having a Mullet Sale. And yes, the tagline is actually "business in the front, party in the back." That's either some really creative or really desperate marketing.

This is where I would instert my own "I'm waiting for the ___ sale," but couldn't think of anything that creative. Suggestions welcome in the comments section.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Cost Cutting Gone Awry

Nex time you're too cheap to pay a human and think you might try getting an animal to do the job, think again...

Public Baum

Over at Daily Gotham, Liza has a picture of Betsy Gotbaum handing out sandwiches in Queens during the blackout. Who is this Gotbaum, you ask? Why, she's our Public Advocate. What's a Public Advocate you ask? Well, it's the office that Norm Siegel ran for and should have won. Remember Norm Siegel? He stands up for people. He advocates. Had Norm Siegel been our Public Advocate he would have been in Queens all up in the faces of Con Ed execs. But we got the Baum, and instead of a Public Advocate, we have a Public Sandwich Hander Outer. Awesome.
BGwithAmericanRedCrossNEW

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Vote For Me! Vote For Me!

eefers recently entered her first-ever design contest. And she's a finalist! See the designs, or skip all that and go vote for me!

Layout 1

It's Alive!

Actually, it's not, but it it is a giant blob. And it's the largest thing in the universe, according to National Geographic.

Monday, July 31, 2006

The Hypocritical Democrat

Is it wrong that I want to throw up because $1,000/mo gets taken out of my paycheck for taxes? God, I hope I get some of it back in April...

Friday, July 21, 2006

Help Stop Fake Abortion Clinics

Now, I'm not one to repost alerts and forwards, but this is an issue that's very close to my heart, so please read this action alert I received from Planned Parenthood this morning:
Dear Emily,

I've written to you about so-called "crisis pregnancy centers" before: the fake "clinics" set up by anti-choice groups to mislead women in their most vulnerable moments, which have received $30 million in government grants since 2001.

But a shocking new report out of Congress exposes exactly what our tax dollars are paying for — word by chilling word. It's hard proof that federally funded programs are dispensing misinformation and outright FALSEHOODS.

Here's what you can do RIGHT NOW: sound the alarm to your friends and family and ask them to take action.

Click here to send an e-mail to your list, or just forward the message below
.

I recently told you about a teenager in Indiana who thought she was visiting a Planned Parenthood clinic, but was lured by one of these centers. The staff harassed and intimidated her at her home and school, even telling classmates to pressure her not to have an abortion. Thousands of you wrote to your representatives, urging action on an important bill to protect women. But the bill needs more support, and we now have direct quotes (see below) proving that these centers promote propaganda over medical fact.

It couldn't be simpler: just forward the message below.

Sincerely,

Cecile Richards
President, Planned Parenthood Federation of America

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Super Secret Summer Skirt Solution

I can't believe I'm actually sharing this on my blog. I hoped to one-day make millions by putting a different label on an already ubiquitous product, but since I see you ladies in so much pain I can't help but share my secret.

"What pain?" you ask. Upper, inner thigh chafing. That pain that's much more uncomfortable to walk with than it is to talk about. So I'm talking about it. To save you pain.

For you, Little Miss My-Thighs-Don't-Rub-Together, you can stop reading this right now.

For the rest of you curvaceous ladies who've given up on wearing skirts in the summer, or must wear cut-off pantyhose under them, or have used a whole bottle of baby powder between your legs, I'm here to solve your problem: anti-perspirant. Rub it all over your inner thighs just like you would in your armpit and you can walk miles in a skirt in 90-degree heat. Promise.

For the rest of you? Put it on your goddamned underarms. Last night the 4 train smelled like someone had put a locker room in a swamp.

Blackout 2006, Here I Come!

I predict there's going to be another blackout. This afternoon. Building security just made an announcement that some agency is asking us to turn off any lights we're not using, "energy star" save our computers or something, and that they're shutting down 25% of the elevators (as if they're not slow enough already). And just this morning I had cranked the fridge because someone's tuna was stinky.

Anyone else receive an announcement like this?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Who Can It Be Now?

I used to kind-of hate Adam Carolla (is it possible to kind-of hate someone?). Anyway, now that he's hung up on Ann Coulter, I kind-of like him.

Seriously?

OK, I know we have an obesity problem in this country, but size 00 jeans? Are you kidding me?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I Think We Should See Other People: eefers to Coffee Cart Man

I did it. I told Coffee Cart Man we should see other people. Only because I can't lie. Here's how it all went down: I arrived there this morning (when I come from my own apartment, as opposed to my boyfriend's, it's easier to go to Coffee Cart Man than to Mule) and he asked if I'd been on vacation. I can't lie. So I said that I tried a new place on 4th Avenue. He asked which one. I told him. He told me he'd tried it before but didn't like their coffee. I told him I did like it. He seemed a little offended. I told him I didn't like it better, but that it was just different. He still seemed a little hurt. So I told him that when I come from my house I'll go to him but when I stay at my boyfriend's I'll go to Mule. It seemed like amenable break-up to me.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Coffee Cart Man: To Dump or Not to Dump?

Since proclaiming that my coffee cart man was completely incompetent I've learned quite a bit about him and have been proven completely wrong. He was new. His name is Mohammed. He's from Jordan where he was a physician and is running a coffee cart to support his getting certified as a GP here in the States. He has my coffee ready (and right!) before I even make it to his cart and if I realize I don't have cash on any given morning, he tells me not to worry about it and to pay him the next day. He has also professed his love for me. Awkward? Yes. Sweet? Sure. But we've formed a bond. He's Coffee Cart Man and I'm his trusted, loyal patron.

However, on my way home last Thursday I stopped into what I thought was a new coffee shop on 4th Avenue, Mule. I, of course, loved the coffee and thought it was even better than Gorilla Coffee (which is a little too strong for my taste). Friday, Monday and today, I've gone to Mule for my coffee instead of Coffee Cart Man on my way to the subway. Sure, I have to cross the street and the coffee is $.50 more expensive, but it's so much better (and bigger).

I feel as if I have to go back to Coffee Cart Man tomorrow morning. I could tell him I was off for a few days, though I fear he's seen me on the other side of the street. Should I break up with him? Or is it safe to keep avoiding him? I don't want to be that asshole who's been seeing someone else but is too chicken to tell him. But on the other hand, I don't want to tell him that I've found better coffee. What to do?! What to do?!

Maybe you can help. Below, the blue line represents my old route to Coffee Cart Man. The red line represents my new route. With Coffee Cart Man facing south to serve coffee, do we think he'll notice me with my new iced coffee or is it time to come clean?
coffeeroute

Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Dirt! The Dirt!

Since NY4P has only done a soft launch of the new website (we'll announce later next week) consider this your eefers exclusive sneak peek at The Dirt, my new blogging venture (i.e. eefers is finally getting paid to blog).
thedirt_logo

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Cyclones

Last night was the Cyclones season opener. Eight of us had bleacher seats and wore C-Y-C-L-O-N-E-S t-shirts to watch the Brooklyn Cyclones face the Staten Island Yankees. Of course, I was the E. We lost our O near the end of the third inning, when the score was 13-0, Yanks. After the fourth inning (14-0), the C-Y-C-L-N-E-S decided to ditch the game and go and ride the real Cyclone.
300px-Coney-island-cyclone-usgs-photo
This morning, I learned the final score was 18-0.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Prom in the Times

So remember that prom picture? A similar picture ended up in the Sunday Styles section of the Times. Pretty exciting, eh? OK. Now I'm done talking about prom. I PROMise.
18rose.l

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Drink Liberally on Flag Day

It's Flag Day. And what better way to spend it than Drinking Liberally with your fellow Brooklynites at a bar called Commonwealth? (For those of you who don't know, Drinking Liberally is a drinking club committed to promoting democracy one pint at a time.)

So, in the spirit of Flag Day, which just happens to fall on the date of the June gathering of Park Slope Drinking Liberally, here's what I propose: we get together tonight, get really drunk (on beer, on soda, on life, on conversation, on enchiladas from the fantastic Mexican place next door) and take patriotism back from those assholes--and no, I don't mean a particular political party, I mean a specific culture of flag-waving assholes, and you know exactly who I'm talking about. For an added bonus, I'll buy a beer for whoever shows up dressed like an American flag (at least until I run out of money).

Park Slope Drinking Liberally
at Commonwealth, 5th Avenue at 12th Street
TONIGHT, 7:30 onward
Take the R or the F to 4th Ave/9th Street



Hosted by the most flag waving of them all:
9303987834394l
Though probably not in that ridiculous outfit.

Park Slope Drinking Liberally: Endorsed by the Politicker. (well, not officially, but still)

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Prom

Chris_Em
Would you believe me if I said this was taken at the prom last night?

OK, it was at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden Gala, but check out my corsage!

Coverage in the NY Sun [Subscription]
In a nod to the star attraction, one romantic young fellow, Christopher Varmus, gave his lady friend (and a former New York Sun intern), Emily Farris, a corsage of pink roses.

Friday, June 02, 2006

A Dream Come True

I'm going to get paid to blog! New Yorkers for Parks will add a blog to the new site when it launches next week. And Yours Truly will be the blogger. Does my excitement over this make me the biggest dork in the world?

I guess I just have to blog about what I want (see below) and it will come true. Rock.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I'm a Shitty Blogger

Not because I'm unwitty and write in fragments and end my sentences in prepositions. Because, duh, I don't do any of those things. Well, maybe I write in fragments sometimes, but that's not the point. I'm a shitty blogger because I don't blog daily. At first I blamed it on my work + school fiasco, but now school is over, and I'm just working more. And you know what? When I get home from work, I don't want to get on the computer (no, Chris, I don't want to, I just have to check my email, it's a compulsion, not a desire), I want to curl up on the couch and watch HBO.

So, I have a few options:
1. Get to work early every day and blog before 9 a.m. (Ha!)
2. Blog as soon as I get home every night.
3. Blog on my lunch break (oh wait, I don't take lunch breaks).
4. Quit my job and try to sell google adspace on eefers.
5. Start blogging about parks.
6. Get someone to pay me $50K/yr to blog. (That's it, that's the one!)
Seriously, how many of you used to look at eefers every day and now maybe look once a week? Be honest, come on now...

Well, you're going to have to deal for a little while longer. I'm off for a weekend in the country. No cell phone. No email. Not even any HBO.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Little Miss, Little Miss, Little Miss Can't Be Wrong


Holy Crap! The Spin Doctors are playing at the NYC Culinary Festival on Saturday night. Holy Crap. Quite possibly my favorite MTV band of my entire middle-school experience. From the NYC Culinary Festival Site:
Saturday, May 20, 11:15 p.m. - Spin Doctors The original line-up is back together, and have recently released their first new studio album in eleven years by the original members. Come out and see the re-birth of the Spin Doctors.
I'm seriously tempted to skip the end of my graduation party for this.

And if you/want to call me baby/just go ahead now!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Kinkos SUCKS!


Why so hostile you ask? Because I'm still at work at 8:21 on a Friday waiting for Kinkos to deliver something that was supposed to be done at 4. I went to Kinkos at 4 to pick it up; they told me it wasn't done and that they'd deliver it by 5. When I returned to my desk I had a voicemail letting me know that the file was corrupt. What?!?! They hadn't even opened my file until after I was scheduled to pick it up?!?! (I had dropped it off w/ a 24-hour guarantee 24-hours prior). This comes a day after I got a $1,500 bill for a job that they quoted at around $200.

Apparently I'm not alone. See what happens when you Google Kinkos sucks.

Any of you ever had these kinds of problems with Kinkos? I'm done with them, I say, done with them!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Stick a Fork in Me, I'm Done

That was the line that the Fort Osage High School class of '99 put on their senior t-shirts. Psh. When I designed the class of 2000 (whoop, whoop!) t-shirts, they were cooler. A picture of dice (from Microsoft Clip Art, of course) with a caption that read "We're ready to roll on outa here." Clever, eh?

Well, six long years later, I'm ready to roll on outa college. Last night I rolled outa my last. class. ever. Unless I go to grad school that is. Now, I still have like five thousand papers due before Monday but then I'm done. Done. Done. Done. Done. Done.

Done.

Done.

Done.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yup. eefers turns the big two-four today. You can stop reading my blog and go buy me things now.

Plus, I promise I'll be back to blogging (regularly) soon. This semester has been craziness, what with working full time and taking five classes. But don't worry, I graduate soon enough (in eight days!) and I've promised myself that I will blog every weekday once I'm done with schoool. So there.

Oh, I Think I Smell a Rat!

Last night, as I walked down into the 14th Street F station, I saw a rat scampering across the platform. I gasped, and before I could put the hiccup sound on the end of my gasp, a man kicked the rat over the tracks. The rat went flying and hit the wall with a thud as the train pulled into the station. Now, I don’t know what became of that rat, nor do I care. I do care, however, that it caused me to have rat-infested nightmares.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Fra, ra, ra, ra, ra.

eefers was in desperate need of a haircut, and today went to my favorite salon, SEI-Tomoko (pay no attention to the girl with the late 90's hairstyle on the homepage). The owner, Tomoko, who always cuts my hair (when I'm not cutting it or my little sister isn't) talked me into a hair moisturizer since I've been coloring it, and it's a little dry. And on the back of said moisturizer? "ALSO COATS SPRIT ENDED HAIR." I shit you not. I'll take a picture if I can find my camera.

Retro-Stylin

I bought a waist pack today. What's a waist pack, you say? Well, my fashion-challenged readers, it's a chic name for fanny pack. And I bought one. Because I'm chic. Chic, in this case meaning, I'm tired of having a sweat line running diagonally across my chest from wearing a messenger bag when I bike. Now I'll have a sweaty ass instead. Tres chic!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Nobody Puts Baby In a Conference Room

At work, I'm Baby. Ok, they don't call me Baby like Frances in Dirty Dancing, but I am the baby. I'm old enough, however, to remember the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine gets annoyed every time they have cake for someone's birthday. Luckily, in my office, we don't have cake every day, but we have it at just about every staff meeting (celebrating the birthdays of the month). And we end every staff meeting with my colleagues gawking over the fact that I was born after 1980. Today's trigger? I said something about TYP (referring to Track Your Park, a new program at NY4P). Then people started talking about Michael Jackson. I didn't pretend to know what they were talking about. And they laughed at me for it. I googled it and still couldn't figure it out. Does it stand for touch your privates? Someone help!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

First One in the Office

I'm usually very late. So being the first person in the office makes me think I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Like I shouldn't be in the office. Does anyone else ever get that feeling?

Monday, March 27, 2006

NYC Daffodils Photo Contest

daff2
Hey Kids, eefers and the NY4P team have spent the better part of March setting up this NYC Daffodils photo contest over at Shutterfly. And in case you haven't noticed, the nearly 3 million daffodils planted throughout the five boroughs are starting to bloom. So grab your camera, get your ass outside on this beautiful day, and take some daffodil photos for your chance to win $500 and your photograph featured in The New York Sun on Monday, May 22.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Happy Birthday, Chris!


A special birthday shout out to Chris, who turned 28 today. Which made me realize that I'm going to have a 30-year-old boyfriend in two years (you know, if all goes well).

We've already had two really great birthday meals (Stone Park Cafe last night and Melt for brunch today). Tonight...soup dumplings at Joe's Shanghai. One more undecided to come on Wednesday.

I'm going to stop blogging about his happy birthday now and get back to it, er, back to getting fat.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Guess Who's Back? Back Again? eefers Back. Tell a Friend.

That's right, eefers was having a week-long technical difficulty. But thanks to Alpie, I'm back. And oh, what a joyous return it is. I've missed you all so much. When I think of something snarky to say, I'll be back again.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Pinch Me, I'm Irish

Guess who forgot to wear green today? (OK, I didn't really forget, but I didn't have anything green at Chris's. I'll change before I go out tonight). Ah, St. Patrick's Day...the only day we were allowed to inflict violence on our third grade classmates, and only if they weren't wearing green.

And, um, cheers to City Council Speaker Christine Quinn who decided to boycott the St. Patrick's Day Parade because they still won't allow organized LGBT groups to march. Worse, they wouldn't even allow her to wear a gay pride pin or sash. I think we need to pinch John Dunleavy, the parade organizer, who gave this utterly senseless quote to the Irish Times:
"If an Israeli group wants to march in New York, do you allow Neo-Nazis into their parade? If African-Americans are marching in Harlem, do they have to let the Ku Klux Klan into their parade? People have rights. If we let [Irish gay activists] in, is it the Irish Prostitute Association next?"
Seriously, what does that even mean?

Everyone should drink a green beer in honor of Chris Quinn tonight. And don't pinch anyone too hard...unless it's Dunleavy.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

I Knew She Was Stupid, Just Not THIS Stupid

Jessica Simpson loves the heck out of president Bush, according to the Drudge Report.

My best friend and I were just talking about being "retarded in love" but I think this is different.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Street Vendor Karma...Back to Bite Me in the Ass

So, maybe I deserved this after my "just short of incompetent" Coffee Cart Man post. Or maybe I'm just having bad luck with street vendors. Either way, I got duped today.

On my way into the Bryant Park subway station, I realized I'd forgotten my book. I stopped at the newsstand, and though I'm not exactly interested in what anorexic Terri Hatcher has to say, I asked for a copy of Vanity Fair. (Really, I just can't resist Graydon Carter's 2-page letter from the editor. No, not really.)

Because I worked late and had the hand off at dusk, I didn't realize until I was under the bright, and not so flattering, light of the F train, that I had just paid $4.50 for a used copy. Not only was it used, it was just plain gross. Poor, skinny Terri Hatcher was all scratched up and streaked with what looked like thin lines of tar, and the back was covered in what looked like petrified pink lollipop slobber. The magazine had obviously been read and was lacking some of that new magazine, Chanel No. 5-mixed-with-glue smell.

I know there are more important things to complain about in the world, but sometimes I get tired of thinking about public policy, my school work or whatever else I have to deal with every day, and just want to relax with a nice, clean copy of Vanity Fair. Is that too much to ask? Is it, Newsstand Man? IS IT?

I'm Guessing This Wasn't a Woman's Idea

Via Gawker, apparently today is Steak and BJ Day, a....holiday?
March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ.
What about national salad and cunnilingus day?

Monday, March 13, 2006

Seriously, Give Me My F'in Coffee...and Don't Mess It Up This Time

Since moving from the South Slope and leaving my wonderful deli at 16th and 5th, I've been forced to endure Coffee Cart Man in Boerum Hill. Generally, the idea of a coffee cart is great. It's directly outside my subway entrance, and I don't have to wait in line behind that woman buying 20 $1 scratchers, or that man trying to find the right cigar for his blunt. However, when Coffee Cart Man just doesn't quite get it, it can put a real damper on my already dreary mornings.

Boreum Hill Coffee Cart Man didn't always used to be a drag. In fact, he was a different man all together. Cool, calm, collected -- Coffee Cart Dude. But slowly, last month, Coffee Cart Man started to infiltrate Coffee Cart Dude's cart. Now Coffee Cart Dude -- who always made my coffee correctly, because he focused on making my coffee, not flirting with me -- is gone. And his successor is anything but successful.

I would hasten to say that Coffee Cart Man is just short of incompetent, as far as coffee cart men go. For starters, he's so busy trying to flirt, that he pays no attention to the coffee. Every morning I order "large, milk, no sugar, not too full." And every morning he starts to scoop sugar into my cup, and I have to stop him by yelling "NO sugar!" Instead of getting a fresh cup, he just dumps out the sugar, leaving remnants for my taste buds to endure. (Recently I've broken him of this dumping habit, by yelling "NO sugar!" as he starts to scoop his spoon into the bucket of sugar, which he still does every morning.) As far as the not too full? By the time I make it down to the 4-train platform, I'm holding a cup of coffee wrapped in coffee soaked napkins.

Last week, when trying to hand me my change, he spilled my 75-cents all over the sidewalk. And some mornings he's been so slow that there's been a line of 6 or more people. Last week, in my already grumpy morning huffiness, I yelled "this is ridiculous!" after waiting in line for more than a minute, and stormed off into the station, sans coffee.

Am I being a bitch? Sure. Should I cut him a little slack because he's new? Sure. But am I entitled to a decent cup of non-sweetened coffee that doesn't spill all over my hands? I believe I am. Regardless, I'm always nice to Coffee Cart Man, and always act like it's not a big deal, even though, to me, at the time, it's a huge deal.

Every day, I say I'll go a block out of my way "tomorrow" to get it right. But every day I'm running just a little bit later than the day before. Thus putting my already soured morning mood in the hands of Coffee Cart Man.

This morning, instead of saying "not too full," I said, "leave an inch up top, please."

His reply? "What's an inch, 2 and a half centimeters?" He was close (1 inch = 2.54 centimeters) and I was slightly impressed.

"Sure," I said and took my not-too-full coffee down into the station and sat across from a woman whose brow was furrowed from Pacific Street all the way to Grand Central, and wondered 'wow, what did her coffee cart man do to her this morning?'

Friday, March 10, 2006

Guilty Pleasure: Global Warming

71degrees
How can I be upset about Global Warming on a day like today?

Those Realizations That Come With Age

This morning, when walking to work, I realized that my kids won't be from where I'm from. And what that means. And that's weird.

Don't worry, I'm not planning on having kids any time soon. But someday. And I'm not moving back to Missouri to have them.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Made In NYC

logoa
Just found this awesome site, Made in NYC that provides links to vendors that actually do their manufacturing in New York City. The site is made possible in part by my friends at the New York Industrial Retention Network. Let's use it, and retain some New York industry!

My Life is About to Change Forever

Thanks to Gawker, I learned last night that Time Warner's channel 1017 is on-demand Karaoke! Do you people know what this means? If not, you've obviously never been to a karaoke bar with me. Now you don't have to. Just bring a six-pack to my place. Ok, I'll still want to go to a karaoke bar every once in a while, but next time I invite you over for "a low key night at my place," you'll know what I have in mind.
20060301karaoke
Photo stolen from Gawker. Thanks, guys!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

My Worst Nightmare

My old roommate used to work on a Broadway show and once told me the story of a dancer who put her foot into a slipper, only to find a cockroach was there first. After hearing that story, I took to shaking my shoes before putting them on -- especially if I hadn't worn them in a while. But that was years ago, and I'm in a bigger hurry these days, so shaking my shoes is not something I do as often. Until today, anyway.

This morning, while rushing around my room trying to decide what I was going to wear (it's tricky when there's snow everywhere, puddles on every corner and it's so warm I don't need a coat), I slid my (thankfully socked) foot into my cowboy boot. As soon as I was almost snuggly in there, I felt something crunch at the end of my toes. Not thinking anything of it, I stuck my hand in there. As soon as I did, I wished I wouldn't have. I knew what was in there.

I shook my boot and a leg -- which very obviously belonged to a very large cockroach -- fell out on the carpet. I tried not to freak, because it was dead. But really, dead or alive, they're all the same to me: disgusting, scary creatures of hell (remind me someday to tell you the story of the cockroach that tried to kill me).

There was no one around to help me -- and you know, I Am Woman, or some bullshit --so I shook my boot with all my might and the carcass of the Creature of Hell fell to the carpet. I wrapped my hand in toilet paper about 20 times over, picked him up and flushed him to the underbelly of New York, where he -- and all of his kind -- belong.

Did I wear the boot? What do you think?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Doggy Style

One great thing about being home sick is that I get to look at Craigslist Missed Connections all day. It really is my favorite pastime. I just came across this one that I couldn't resist sharing with you all:
I have been feeling this feeling of letting a dog hump me. I know it sound ridiculous but i want to try it please email me if you have a dog that is well trained and clean. Looking to do this tonight or tomorrow. [Fulfil My Dog Fantasy]
I'm tempted to email him/her to find out exactly where he/she wants to be humped by this dog. But I won't...I don't think.

UPDATE: I sent this email: "So you want your leg humped or what?" Waiting to hear back. Will keep you updated.

Home Sick


Being home sick sucks. Because I'm really sick. Every time I try to get out of bed my head throbs and my nose feels as if I've just jumped into a pool with way too much chlorine -- that burning sensation, you know? I can feel things moving around in my head...

Sick days are overrated, if one is really sick. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I have them (I think I have 12 a year), but I wish that I was one of those people who didn't feel guilty calling in when in perfect health to frolic in the park or something. What I wouldn't give to have the energy to frolic in the park right now.

Monday, February 06, 2006

eefers PSA: Don't Drink and Text

Last night after the Super Bowl, Chris and I rushed back to his place so I could watch Grey's Anatomy (I'll admit, I'm obsessed). Chris was in the living room watching TV and I was in his room watching my show. I was -- as is to be expected after a good Super Bowl party -- a little sloppy, and thought it would be fun to send Chris a rather raunchy text message from the next room. And so I did. A few minutes later I got this message:
"Your message was addressed to a landline # 816-796-####. 4 a limited time send msgs to a landline using Sprint's Text to Landline Service! Std rates apply."
What?! I’d accidentally sent the message to my mom! And Sprint was going to make sure she got the message? Assholes! I'd accidentally sent text messages to landlines before and figured they disappeared into the cell-o-sphere. That's the way it should be.

Never the alarmist, I figured if I'd wanted to take advantage of the Text to Landline Service, I'd have to take another step, like...I don't know...signing up for it!

I sent the message to the intended recipient (Chris) and went back to watching Grey's Anatomy. Then, I received this:
"Your message was successfully delivered to an answering machine or voicemail at 816-796-####. Thanks for using Text to Landline!"
Yeah...

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

State of the Union Watch Parties

While there's no shame in doing it alone, it's so much better with someone else. Check out one of these State of the Union watch parties for some solidarity, among other things.

Generation Engage (Justin Rockefeller's awesome new organization) launches with a watch party tonight at Marble Collegiate Church. Prior to the address will be a panel featuring Ted Sorensen, Peggy Noonan and Jeanine Piro.
7:30 p.m. Panel
9 p.m. State of the Union Address
Marble Church, 29th St. & 5th Ave., Manhattan

Park Slope Drinking Liberally and Commonwealth celebrate Park Slope DL's one year anniversary with their second annual State of the Union watch party at the bar. (This is where you'll find eefers).
9 p.m.
Commonwealth, 5th Avenue at 12th Street, Brooklyn

******

Other Drinking Liberally State of the Union Watch Parties:

San Marcos, 9 p.m.
St. Mark's btw 2nd & 3rd, Manhattan

Doc Watsons, 7:30
78th & 2nd, Manhattan

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Emily Farris for Mayor

When googling myself, as I often do, I came across this link. Before you click on it, I will warn you that it will open an 11-page PDF. Even more exciting than an 11-page PDF is that this 11-page PDF is the final ballot count for the 2005 New York City mayoral election. And, on page 9 of 11, you will see that Emily Farris -- yup this Emily Farris -- received one, count it: one, vote for mayor. Take that, Bloomberg! [Thanks, Chris!]

Monday, January 23, 2006

Pomp and Circumstance, Almost

After nearly six grueling years, I am almost ready to graduate college. Today I began my final semester, and filed my petition for graduation. You're all invited to the party (ahem, barbeque...on my ginormous patio!) in May.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Positive Results

MyHeritage scans a picture of your face and then tells you what celebrity you resemble most! I have been told once or twice that I "remind" people of Ms. Barrymore, but never has anyone said I "look" like her.
emily_drew

However, skeptic that I am, I uploaded a picture of me with a different expression on my face from a different angle. My first result? Paul Wittgenstein! My second? Elisha Cuthbert. I'm flattered by the second one, at least, I guess. Coming in at number eight? Danny Devito! Still fun, at least.
profiles

UPDATE: With yet another picture, the results included Engelbert Humperdinck and Quincy Jones!

Oh, David


I just don't understand why I never saw this on MTV?!?!

Now That I'm a Brunette, I'm Mean...and, Yes, Kinda Dorky for Posting This

Check out the best blonde joke ever.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

You Know You Google Too Much When...

...you Google "what to eat for dinner." Wow.

Unfortunately, I didn't get any good responses. Some essays, some blogs, no great inspiration. I guess I have to get off my lazy ass and look at a delivery menu.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The American String Conspiracy Conspires This Weekend...Twice!

Hey ya'll (I get to say "ya'll" in this context):

My band (The American String Conspiracy) has TWO shows this weekend in Brooklyn, and yes, I'm singing. And not just backup.

So, for you Park Slope, Boerum Hill Prospect Heights folks, come to the show at Freddy's on Saturday (I'll be covering Hank Williams and Dolly Parton). For those of you who live in that OTHER part of Brooklyn (and you know who you are, those of you who live on the G or L lines, those of you I let off the hook for everything else because it's such a pain to get from your part of Brooklyn to my part of Brooklyn), come see me at Pete's Candy Store on Sunday (I'll be covering Dolly again Sunday night).

SATURDAY, January 21:
American String Conspiracy
at the Brooklyn Winter Hoedown
Freddy's Back Room
5:15 p.m. Free Admission

SUNDAY, January 22:
American String Conspiracy
Pete's Candy Store
9:30 p.m. Free Admission

Friday, January 13, 2006

The Fall

Had my first fall on the new bike last night. It was pretty ridiculous, actually. I was headed down Broadway, approaching Union Square, when a girl on a track bike was jolting to a stop like a madwoman. Amazed by her stopping skills, I slowed down and came to a stop at the red light, as well. But I forgot my feet were still in the baskets (I usually remove them as I'm slowing down). I came to a complete stop and fell right over. Luckily, there was an SUV to break my fall, so I only hit my knee on the street. Some girl on a cell phone walked by and said "Oh my god! Are you OK?" I was fine. But I was wedged between my bike, the pavement and the SUV, with my feet still in the baskets. I managed to untangle myself and get back up, slightly embarrassed; no real damage done.

The wound is weak, and probably won't even scar. But there will be better falls, with better scars, oh yes there will.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Bikes and the Building

Apparently a big NO NO where I work. I rode my new bike in from Brooklyn for the first time today, and not wanting to lock it with a U-lock, I decided I'd just bring it up to the office. So, I left my lock at home.

When I tried to bring it inside, I was firmly (and not so nicely) alerted to the fact that bikes are not allowed in the building. So, I spent the better part of this morning waiting for the bike shop on W. 47th Street to open so I could spend $100 on a new chain lock.

Not the worst thing in the world. The worst thing in the world? Not being able to open our windows. Other than that, it's a pretty nice building.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Hip, Hip, Hooray

A judge ruled that Critical Mass, is, in fact, constitutional.

To celebrate, I just might ride my new bike in Brooklyn Critical Mass tomorrow (7:30, Grand Army Plaza)...and not have to worry about getting arrested.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

If I Didn't Already Have a Boyfriend...

...I'd be finding my dates here, nerd/blogger/weirdo that I am...though I'm probably not "hip" enough.

Post-Holiday Pig Out

In my office, we have can upon can (literally, they're stacked) of chocolate. At home, bag upon bag of chocolate. I cannot possibly eat all of this chocolate, yet I do. Bowl by bowl. Bored moment by bored moment. At least my pants still fit.
hr0208

Monday, January 09, 2006

The Same, But Different

Usually Gawker is making fun of the Post for having front pages similar to the Daily News'. Or vice versa. But the neighborhood papers have the big tabloids beat this time.

The front page of this week's Brooklyn Papers featured a picture of the mother of the "first baby of the year born in brownstone Brooklyn," while the front page of the Park Slope Courier features a frighteningly similar picture of Christine Quinn, the new speaker of the City Council (sans newborn).
thesame2
Now, I know Hindy Krauss just had a baby and all, but it has to be said (and not just for my own political gain): Chris Quinn is cuter.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

It's the Cheesiest

And I ain't talkin' bout Velveeta. The New York Times has an article today about Macaroni and Cheese. The real stuff. Like I make. "The moral of the story" says the author, "when in doubt, add more cheese." She needed a cookbook to tell her this. Um, I know the Times thinks they're ahead of the times and all, but, uh, DUH. My last macaroni casserole (baked, with corn, of course) had five or six cheeses. But I guess we can't all be so culinarily blessed.