Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Super Secret Summer Skirt Solution

I can't believe I'm actually sharing this on my blog. I hoped to one-day make millions by putting a different label on an already ubiquitous product, but since I see you ladies in so much pain I can't help but share my secret.

"What pain?" you ask. Upper, inner thigh chafing. That pain that's much more uncomfortable to walk with than it is to talk about. So I'm talking about it. To save you pain.

For you, Little Miss My-Thighs-Don't-Rub-Together, you can stop reading this right now.

For the rest of you curvaceous ladies who've given up on wearing skirts in the summer, or must wear cut-off pantyhose under them, or have used a whole bottle of baby powder between your legs, I'm here to solve your problem: anti-perspirant. Rub it all over your inner thighs just like you would in your armpit and you can walk miles in a skirt in 90-degree heat. Promise.

For the rest of you? Put it on your goddamned underarms. Last night the 4 train smelled like someone had put a locker room in a swamp.

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