Friday, November 10, 2006
A Farewell to Pants
I'd like to share a little of my learned wisdom with my loyal readers: when you spill coffee on your pants during your morning commute and proceed to blame your employer for forcing you to wear pants in the first place, it's probably time to leave your job. And that's exactly what I have done. Well, I'm still here through mid-December, but I filed my official letter of resignation yesterday. And hot damn, am I excited to begin my new life... you guessed it: without pants.
Those of you who know me well have probably seen me naked. Not because I'm an exhibitionist or have posed (completely) nude for anyone, but because I just don't like to wear clothes -- especially pants. So, I've decided that from this point forward, the majority of my income will come from jobs that don't require me to wear pants, like writing, and website design -- things I can do from home.
Sure, in the beginning, I'll have to shop a little less and have fewer dinners out, but hey, those activities require pants, so I'm sure the transition will be an easy one. In fact, not wearing pants will probably save me money. Since taking my 9-to-5 job a little over a year ago, I've spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on freaking pants.
So, on Monday, December 11, my first day of freedom from the shackles of pants, I will be the guest of honor at my own Pants Free Party. Everyone's invited. Except the fat guy from the Borat movie. That guy should always wear pants.