Tuesday, March 28, 2006

First One in the Office

I'm usually very late. So being the first person in the office makes me think I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Like I shouldn't be in the office. Does anyone else ever get that feeling?

Monday, March 27, 2006

NYC Daffodils Photo Contest

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Hey Kids, eefers and the NY4P team have spent the better part of March setting up this NYC Daffodils photo contest over at Shutterfly. And in case you haven't noticed, the nearly 3 million daffodils planted throughout the five boroughs are starting to bloom. So grab your camera, get your ass outside on this beautiful day, and take some daffodil photos for your chance to win $500 and your photograph featured in The New York Sun on Monday, May 22.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Happy Birthday, Chris!


A special birthday shout out to Chris, who turned 28 today. Which made me realize that I'm going to have a 30-year-old boyfriend in two years (you know, if all goes well).

We've already had two really great birthday meals (Stone Park Cafe last night and Melt for brunch today). Tonight...soup dumplings at Joe's Shanghai. One more undecided to come on Wednesday.

I'm going to stop blogging about his happy birthday now and get back to it, er, back to getting fat.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Guess Who's Back? Back Again? eefers Back. Tell a Friend.

That's right, eefers was having a week-long technical difficulty. But thanks to Alpie, I'm back. And oh, what a joyous return it is. I've missed you all so much. When I think of something snarky to say, I'll be back again.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Pinch Me, I'm Irish

Guess who forgot to wear green today? (OK, I didn't really forget, but I didn't have anything green at Chris's. I'll change before I go out tonight). Ah, St. Patrick's Day...the only day we were allowed to inflict violence on our third grade classmates, and only if they weren't wearing green.

And, um, cheers to City Council Speaker Christine Quinn who decided to boycott the St. Patrick's Day Parade because they still won't allow organized LGBT groups to march. Worse, they wouldn't even allow her to wear a gay pride pin or sash. I think we need to pinch John Dunleavy, the parade organizer, who gave this utterly senseless quote to the Irish Times:
"If an Israeli group wants to march in New York, do you allow Neo-Nazis into their parade? If African-Americans are marching in Harlem, do they have to let the Ku Klux Klan into their parade? People have rights. If we let [Irish gay activists] in, is it the Irish Prostitute Association next?"
Seriously, what does that even mean?

Everyone should drink a green beer in honor of Chris Quinn tonight. And don't pinch anyone too hard...unless it's Dunleavy.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

I Knew She Was Stupid, Just Not THIS Stupid

Jessica Simpson loves the heck out of president Bush, according to the Drudge Report.

My best friend and I were just talking about being "retarded in love" but I think this is different.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Street Vendor Karma...Back to Bite Me in the Ass

So, maybe I deserved this after my "just short of incompetent" Coffee Cart Man post. Or maybe I'm just having bad luck with street vendors. Either way, I got duped today.

On my way into the Bryant Park subway station, I realized I'd forgotten my book. I stopped at the newsstand, and though I'm not exactly interested in what anorexic Terri Hatcher has to say, I asked for a copy of Vanity Fair. (Really, I just can't resist Graydon Carter's 2-page letter from the editor. No, not really.)

Because I worked late and had the hand off at dusk, I didn't realize until I was under the bright, and not so flattering, light of the F train, that I had just paid $4.50 for a used copy. Not only was it used, it was just plain gross. Poor, skinny Terri Hatcher was all scratched up and streaked with what looked like thin lines of tar, and the back was covered in what looked like petrified pink lollipop slobber. The magazine had obviously been read and was lacking some of that new magazine, Chanel No. 5-mixed-with-glue smell.

I know there are more important things to complain about in the world, but sometimes I get tired of thinking about public policy, my school work or whatever else I have to deal with every day, and just want to relax with a nice, clean copy of Vanity Fair. Is that too much to ask? Is it, Newsstand Man? IS IT?

I'm Guessing This Wasn't a Woman's Idea

Via Gawker, apparently today is Steak and BJ Day, a....holiday?
March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ.
What about national salad and cunnilingus day?

Monday, March 13, 2006

Seriously, Give Me My F'in Coffee...and Don't Mess It Up This Time

Since moving from the South Slope and leaving my wonderful deli at 16th and 5th, I've been forced to endure Coffee Cart Man in Boerum Hill. Generally, the idea of a coffee cart is great. It's directly outside my subway entrance, and I don't have to wait in line behind that woman buying 20 $1 scratchers, or that man trying to find the right cigar for his blunt. However, when Coffee Cart Man just doesn't quite get it, it can put a real damper on my already dreary mornings.

Boreum Hill Coffee Cart Man didn't always used to be a drag. In fact, he was a different man all together. Cool, calm, collected -- Coffee Cart Dude. But slowly, last month, Coffee Cart Man started to infiltrate Coffee Cart Dude's cart. Now Coffee Cart Dude -- who always made my coffee correctly, because he focused on making my coffee, not flirting with me -- is gone. And his successor is anything but successful.

I would hasten to say that Coffee Cart Man is just short of incompetent, as far as coffee cart men go. For starters, he's so busy trying to flirt, that he pays no attention to the coffee. Every morning I order "large, milk, no sugar, not too full." And every morning he starts to scoop sugar into my cup, and I have to stop him by yelling "NO sugar!" Instead of getting a fresh cup, he just dumps out the sugar, leaving remnants for my taste buds to endure. (Recently I've broken him of this dumping habit, by yelling "NO sugar!" as he starts to scoop his spoon into the bucket of sugar, which he still does every morning.) As far as the not too full? By the time I make it down to the 4-train platform, I'm holding a cup of coffee wrapped in coffee soaked napkins.

Last week, when trying to hand me my change, he spilled my 75-cents all over the sidewalk. And some mornings he's been so slow that there's been a line of 6 or more people. Last week, in my already grumpy morning huffiness, I yelled "this is ridiculous!" after waiting in line for more than a minute, and stormed off into the station, sans coffee.

Am I being a bitch? Sure. Should I cut him a little slack because he's new? Sure. But am I entitled to a decent cup of non-sweetened coffee that doesn't spill all over my hands? I believe I am. Regardless, I'm always nice to Coffee Cart Man, and always act like it's not a big deal, even though, to me, at the time, it's a huge deal.

Every day, I say I'll go a block out of my way "tomorrow" to get it right. But every day I'm running just a little bit later than the day before. Thus putting my already soured morning mood in the hands of Coffee Cart Man.

This morning, instead of saying "not too full," I said, "leave an inch up top, please."

His reply? "What's an inch, 2 and a half centimeters?" He was close (1 inch = 2.54 centimeters) and I was slightly impressed.

"Sure," I said and took my not-too-full coffee down into the station and sat across from a woman whose brow was furrowed from Pacific Street all the way to Grand Central, and wondered 'wow, what did her coffee cart man do to her this morning?'

Friday, March 10, 2006

Guilty Pleasure: Global Warming

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How can I be upset about Global Warming on a day like today?

Those Realizations That Come With Age

This morning, when walking to work, I realized that my kids won't be from where I'm from. And what that means. And that's weird.

Don't worry, I'm not planning on having kids any time soon. But someday. And I'm not moving back to Missouri to have them.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Made In NYC

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Just found this awesome site, Made in NYC that provides links to vendors that actually do their manufacturing in New York City. The site is made possible in part by my friends at the New York Industrial Retention Network. Let's use it, and retain some New York industry!

My Life is About to Change Forever

Thanks to Gawker, I learned last night that Time Warner's channel 1017 is on-demand Karaoke! Do you people know what this means? If not, you've obviously never been to a karaoke bar with me. Now you don't have to. Just bring a six-pack to my place. Ok, I'll still want to go to a karaoke bar every once in a while, but next time I invite you over for "a low key night at my place," you'll know what I have in mind.
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Photo stolen from Gawker. Thanks, guys!