Monday, July 31, 2006

The Hypocritical Democrat

Is it wrong that I want to throw up because $1,000/mo gets taken out of my paycheck for taxes? God, I hope I get some of it back in April...

Friday, July 21, 2006

Help Stop Fake Abortion Clinics

Now, I'm not one to repost alerts and forwards, but this is an issue that's very close to my heart, so please read this action alert I received from Planned Parenthood this morning:
Dear Emily,

I've written to you about so-called "crisis pregnancy centers" before: the fake "clinics" set up by anti-choice groups to mislead women in their most vulnerable moments, which have received $30 million in government grants since 2001.

But a shocking new report out of Congress exposes exactly what our tax dollars are paying for — word by chilling word. It's hard proof that federally funded programs are dispensing misinformation and outright FALSEHOODS.

Here's what you can do RIGHT NOW: sound the alarm to your friends and family and ask them to take action.

Click here to send an e-mail to your list, or just forward the message below

I recently told you about a teenager in Indiana who thought she was visiting a Planned Parenthood clinic, but was lured by one of these centers. The staff harassed and intimidated her at her home and school, even telling classmates to pressure her not to have an abortion. Thousands of you wrote to your representatives, urging action on an important bill to protect women. But the bill needs more support, and we now have direct quotes (see below) proving that these centers promote propaganda over medical fact.

It couldn't be simpler: just forward the message below.


Cecile Richards
President, Planned Parenthood Federation of America

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Super Secret Summer Skirt Solution

I can't believe I'm actually sharing this on my blog. I hoped to one-day make millions by putting a different label on an already ubiquitous product, but since I see you ladies in so much pain I can't help but share my secret.

"What pain?" you ask. Upper, inner thigh chafing. That pain that's much more uncomfortable to walk with than it is to talk about. So I'm talking about it. To save you pain.

For you, Little Miss My-Thighs-Don't-Rub-Together, you can stop reading this right now.

For the rest of you curvaceous ladies who've given up on wearing skirts in the summer, or must wear cut-off pantyhose under them, or have used a whole bottle of baby powder between your legs, I'm here to solve your problem: anti-perspirant. Rub it all over your inner thighs just like you would in your armpit and you can walk miles in a skirt in 90-degree heat. Promise.

For the rest of you? Put it on your goddamned underarms. Last night the 4 train smelled like someone had put a locker room in a swamp.

Blackout 2006, Here I Come!

I predict there's going to be another blackout. This afternoon. Building security just made an announcement that some agency is asking us to turn off any lights we're not using, "energy star" save our computers or something, and that they're shutting down 25% of the elevators (as if they're not slow enough already). And just this morning I had cranked the fridge because someone's tuna was stinky.

Anyone else receive an announcement like this?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Who Can It Be Now?

I used to kind-of hate Adam Carolla (is it possible to kind-of hate someone?). Anyway, now that he's hung up on Ann Coulter, I kind-of like him.


OK, I know we have an obesity problem in this country, but size 00 jeans? Are you kidding me?