Thursday, October 26, 2006

Oh My God, I Could Get So Much More Sleep

From Reuters:
Research into sexsomnia -- making sexual advances toward another person while asleep -- has been hampered as sufferers are so embarrassed by the problem they tend not to own up to it, while doctors do not ask about it.

Papers No One Reads Causing Increased Subway Flooding

An MTA inquiry found that free papers like Metro and amNY -- that are shoved in your face as you're trying to balance your coffee and Metrocard while you're running late to work -- are clogging drains and leading to increased subway flooding. Let this be a lesson to Metro (and especially amNY, that paper is terrible) that if so many people are throwing your papers into the tracks, it might be time to take a new marketing route. I heard kids these days really dig the Internets.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Use Your Noodle

Surprisingly, not a sexual reference. Rather, one to my Second Annual Casserole Party, covered on page 39 of today's New York Post.

And last year's party in the New York Sun.
my 3rd favorite of the night
Photo courtesy Daniel Krieger.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Fried Goat Cheese Balls

My mouth found heaven last night. Or heaven found my mouth. You see, my boyfriend works in the kitchen of the best restaurant in Brooklyn. And though the chef scoffed at the idea of him sending me something as simple as a mixed green salad, there was heaven in that salad. That's right, my friends: fried goat cheese balls. Best. Thing. Ever.

It's Easy Being Green

The League of Conservation Voters released recently their 2006 Scorecard on Congress. Read it and (hopefully don't) weep.

Monday, October 23, 2006

The Thing About Eating Hamburgers...

...especially with onions, is that you can't rid your hands of the evidence. No matter how many times you wash and apply smelly lotion, your hands are going to smell like that hamburger. And, god, it's so damn good.

Nanny on Board: Only in New York

How's my nannying?

A New York mother, and lawyer, launched on Thursday a nanny tracking system that allows New Yorkers to tattle on nannies. Howsmynanny.com sells license plates for strollers. And just as frustrated highway dwellers can complain about reckless big rig drivers, New York pedestrians can now do the same.

The license plates are $50, and once registered, parents will receive alerts in their email boxes should someone complain about their nanny via the website.

A good idea considering many New York parents pay their nannies $15 an hour and the guy who fixes their computer five times that much.

Pedro's Little Buddy, May He Rest in Peace


While the Times (and probably everyone else) claims Nelson De La Rosa was a good luck charm for the Red Sox, we say he was Pedro's good luck charm. And, well, we're Mets fans. Either way, he passed this weekend of "unknown causes." May the little guy rest in peace.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Monee

Kazakhstan's (yeah, Borat) central bank has misspelled the word "bank" on the country's most recently printed money. According to government officials, it was no simple error, with some even citing "political undertones." According to Reuters:
Kazakhs were encouraged to speak Russian, which is written in Cyrillic script, during Soviet times but since independence in 1991, the country has seen the Kazakh language as a national symbol.

The Kazakh word for bank is the Cyrillic form of "bank." On the new note, the word was written with an alternate Kazakh form of the letter K, which has a slightly different pronunciation.

As Gas Prices Fall (Slightly), So Does the Price of Those Cute Shoes

Retail prices were cheaper in September than they had been in nine months, according to Crain's. It's about damn time, election time that is.

No Wonder We're All Fat and Dying

The Marlboro Man is "the most influential character who never lived," according to a book by that title released yesterday.

That's a big deal, considering Marlboro's first attempt at marketing was a flop. Originally marketed as a women's cigarette, early taglines included "Mild as May," and the brand was once endorsed by Mae West. Thanks to marketing geniuses, however, the Marlboro Man was born and our lungs have paid the price ever since.

Kids: cigarettes are not cool.

Making Midtown Less Like Hell One Forum at a Time

Apparently, someone is actually trying to make midtown a little less like hell and a little more bearable. vision42, a group working on plans to get cars off of 42nd Street, is holding an informational forum on their idea to add a crosstown light rail to the street.
Informational Community Forum, with presentation and discussion, to be held on October 24, 2006, at the (lower level) auditorium of the SUNY College of Optometry, 33 West 42nd Street, from 6 to 8 pm. Admission is free; RSVP at info@vision42.org, sending your name and e-mail address.

Zombie Spit in Queens

Five pededstrians minding their own business in Queens have been sprayed with "irritating liquids...that burned and reddened their skin." Watch out Queens residents.

At Least it Wasn't a Blogger This Time

Blah, blah. Jared Paul Stern, former Post gossip reporter got a book deal. Blah, blah.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Times' Typos Almost Make a Smiley on a Sad, Sad Story

Don't Have Babies in Greenpoint Until They Clean Up That Oil

Newtown Creek -- the sliver of dirty water that divides the westernmost portions of Brooklyn and Queens -- is one of America’s most polluted waterways after 17 million gallons of oil were released into it in an underground oil spill that originated at the Exxon Mobil site 56 years ago. And fina-freakin-ly, Congress members are seeking some kind of so-called "action" on the site. This legal jargon does not necessarily translate to a cleaner Newtown Creek, but one (especially one who is moving to Greenpoint in 11 days) can hope.

How to Get Charges Against You Dropped: Die

Ken Lay died an innocent man. Not because he was innocent; he clearly was not. But because he kicked the bucket before he had time to appeal his conviction. While we all know that's some bullshit, what's even more troubling is that this could make it harder for the government to recover the $43.5 million he was accused of stealing... which led to his conviction in the first place.

With This Phone, I Thee Wed

I've had more cell phones than boyfriends, apartments, probably even freelance gigs--and I spent years as a freelancer. I'm constantly replacing my phone for one reason or another (broken flip, busted face plate). But one thing has remained constant: my service provider. That's because my phone usually busts mid contract, and to buy a new phone from Sprint and attach it to my number, I have to sign a new two-year service agreement. So, let's do some simple math:
Sprint's phones are built to last 9 to 12 months
+ Every time I need a new phone I'm required to sign a two-year service agreement
----------------
I'm pretty much married to Sprint for the rest of my life
Now, the sneaky kids over at WikiHow have tempted me with the possibility of getting out. Some of their suggestions include getting a known problematic phone, constantly complain that the service isn't up to par, and the best, join the army.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The AP Needs Some Google Maps Action

From CNN.com:
NEW YORK (AP) -- Police say an aircraft has crashed into a building on Manhattan's Upper East Side at 72nd Street and York Avenue. It is near Rockefeller Center.
Seriously? That's the best description they can come up with to put the location of the Upper East Side into perspective? I mean, I guess I'd understand it if CNN or the AP were located in Rockefeller Center, or if say, Kim Jong Il was currentling taping an interview with Meredeth Viera, but come on. Associated Press, you can do better.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Because Dirty Hipsters Don't Shower

New Yorkers are apparently using much less water than at any point in the past 50 years.

Some Call It Environmental Responsibility

Regifting. We've all done it, whether at the office Christmas party or when going to a housewarming we're not quite prepared for (quick, where's that terrible glittery candle aunt Jane sent?). According to Reuters, nearly 50% of Americans have or do regift. And why is it such a bad thing? I get something that I don't really like, or that's not really me, and instead of that purple turtleneck sweater taking up space in a landfill or becoming a cat bed (she does love cashmere), I give it to someone who actually wears purple turtleneck sweaters. It's not laziness, or even being cheap, it's environmental responsibility, people. Remember that next time I forget to take off the "love, Dad" tag.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Really Long Nap

A man in Austria was recently found dead in his bed -- and he died five years ago. According to an Austrian newspaper, his rent was being automatically deducted from his bank account and neighbors never noticed any smell coming from his apartment (for some reason they weren't curious about the five year's worth of mail piling up outside his door). This story is pretty tragic, considering there was no one in the world to even notice that the man had died. Guess I finally have a reason to make friends with my neighbors.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Guy Who Makes Me Want to Kill Someone Sings Most Requested Funeral Song

Ironic, no? James Blunt, who was voted the fourth most annoying thing ever (even beating those assholes who text in all caps) by Brits, has the most requested funeral song, "Goodbye My Lover." Are junior high girls the only ones picking out their funeral songs, or do people actually like this shit?

Google Horoscopes Really Want Me to Get Fired

God, yesterday they were all "leave work to get a pedicure and tell your boss you're going to Staples" and today they're all:
Career issues may be muddled today and the harder you try to figure out what's really going on, the more confusing it gets (Read: no one here understands me). You might attempt to persuade others to your point of view, but it's difficult to be convincing when you don't have enough clarity (Read: even when I write what I'm trying to say on my face in lipstick, they don't understand me). Loosening the reins of control, however, will probably work out in your favor (Read: remember in Office Space, when Ron Livingston's character stopped giving a fuck and got promoted?).
OK, so work really isn't that bad, but why does my horoscope keep trying to get me in trouble?

Monday, October 02, 2006

How to be a skank ass slut

My Daily Grind-o-Scope

I've never been one to trust a horoscope, but seeing as I'm having One of Those Days at work, I've decided to see what would happen if I applied it to my 9-5:
Your sensible approach to life may be tested as life gets more complex. (Read: work is boring, I should leave). Spacey Neptune is making it difficult for you to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground (Read: go get a pedicure). The situation will probably get even stickier as others misjudge the practicality of your ideas (Read: my boss won't like it when I leave during business hours for a pedicure). Keep your communication as clear and precise as possible to minimize the chaos and confusion (Read: tell them I'm going to Staples).
If I actually grow the balls to do this, I'll let you know how it goes. If my boss is reading this, I'm not really doing it. (Yes, I am). No, I'm really not. (Yeah, I totally am.)